Are those Necco Waffers?

Its hard to imagine that emotionless me can get choked up, praying, begging and crossing fingers at two characters kissing after a whole season of teasing torment.
If only writers could hear my thoughts and play out my deepest desires when it comes to their puppets. Er.. Characters.

Yes.

Contemplation: The thing that destroys you.

So I'm sitting out on my balcony. I'm wearing thin PJ pants that go a bit past my knees, slippers and a hoody. It's probably 30-40 degrees outside and yet I'm perfectly fine.
It springs to mind that a year ago I was not where I was today and four years ago I didn't have the slightest clue I would be here.

Interestingly enough, my thoughts four years ago were based roughly on steak N' Shake and who would be there that night. And quite possibly wondering if there was going to be drinking. I don't remember who I was dating, or what anyone was talking about. I do remember this sense of belonging.
Steak N' Shake holds some of the best memories of my life. From Spades to Egyptian Rat Screw, 7 Degrees of Kevin Bacon, Sims, Harry Potter, Cigarettes, Poker and every conversation in between. I can honestly say that four years ago I thought the group of us was going to be friends forever.

A lot of us have lost touch over the years. Some due to jobs, school, or just other things that got in the way. The day Steak N' Shake went non smoking is the day I essentially lost my friends.
We gathered one last time, stood outside in the freezing cold. Trying hard to pretend things were going to be the same, but we all knew it wasn't going to happen.
We got together for parties, and at those parties there were drugs. Thats when I pulled myself out and distanced myself from them. I don't care what other people do, I will voice my thoughts on the issue and then drop it.
Your body, your choice.

But I wasn't going to be put into a situation like that. Don't get me wrong, I've smoked pot a time or two, but its nothing special. Maybe I was doing it wrong, maybe I just didn't want to be like them.
But there is always that thought now and again, when a friend finds me on facebook, or I see them roaming through walmart..
What would have been if we were still friends? Would we still be as close? Would we still laugh like we did and cause havoc where ever we went?

Would I have strived so hard to make friends at Applebees? Would I be living where I am now? As happy as I am now?

Its all interesting to me, curious really, how years later people who forgot me as quickly as I forgot them can surface in my memory in an instant. And how after four years a part of me still longs to be the girl I was. Technorati Tags: Steak N Shake, Friends, time, Laughter, Life

Emily Says..

"Ow. I think I sprained an ovary."

You know, I wasn't sure if it was possible. But now we all know. Careful with your ovaries ladies. (Almost said folks, but no folk has one.) Technorati Tags: Emily, Ovaries, Humor

Sup, Blog Readers!

I'm chillin' on the couch with Emily! Horrah for that, eh?
Yup. Canadian now. Only when on the couch though.

Morning Sunshine!

Sorry guys, I thought when I changed the Ads yesterday I made it so the banner would go NEXT to the blog. I was wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. So I have learned that whenever I change something I should click that magical little "Preview button." Yes.

Yesterday was a good day, which shocked the hell out of me. I figured I'd mope around and see my dad and then mope around some more. This was not the case.
I woke up and sat out in the living room talking to Jes. Turns out her phone was shut off because Joey, who promised to pay the phone bill, had not done that. He also snuck out that morning without saying anything and took the car all day.

Jes and I headed to the bank, to get her the money for rent. And to her bank so she could deposit it. Then we went to Applebees to have lunch and laugh and joke. We had a blast. And I got to see my David who I hugged and told him I missed him. Glimmer of happiness for me! Well more than a glimmer I suppose.

Then my dad called and we headed back to the apartments since you know, he did drive an hour and then some to see his favorite daughter. My dad and I talked and he's willing to put forth a grand or more towards the wedding, which I insisted he didn't have to do. (You know, in that half hearted manner so it looks like you're being nice? yep.) but he wants too, and I want him too, and it's totally awesome.

We went to Walmart to get the chairs and table for the balcony. I also got a planter, some of that seed sprouting shit my mom used last year and seeds. I'm going to have a garden on my balcony! Horrah!

After we got back my dad left and Jes and I sat in the living room hanging out, talking, chilling maxin' all cool. I finally migrated into my room because I was tired and then proceeded to stay awake until 2 am. Good times.

I'm sure I had more to say, but I'm hungry and this diet coke sitting next to me isn't going to drink itself!

I am such a copy cat!

Wendie (I spelled her name wrong, thus I suck.) posted on her site the link to the blogger awards. She has a shot at winning where as I, probably do not. But I nominated myself anyway and would like to see how many votes I actually get. Day after day my numbers are climbing and thats what keeps me writing, the fact that people not only read what I have to say but give a big enough crap to come back and see if I've said more.

Fills my heart with warm fuzzies, honest.

So heres the link. Click it or don't. I'm still going to whore it out ;)

Wasting time

I have been up far to long already today and its only going to continue to drag on. Thank god John introduced me to "Stumble" a click and I'm transported to a whole new site with new and different things to look at. I'm excited and its helping me stay distracted from the emptiness of this bedroom.

Fastforward and rewind: A week in Review

Hello faithful readers, sorry I have neglected you but John was here and I had to work. So every other minute was filled with kissy face and being sickly cute.
But lets start this bitch off right, shall we?

Monday night, I slaved away in the kitchen preparing a lasanga of kings before passing out from being up at 5am. Tuesday I had to work so I got up and John made me coffee and brought me a bowl of cereal, which was sweet of him.
Work was work, nothing stood out in my mind other than the fact that I was told that my pants were not "Dress code appropriate." which I was waiting for, and told them so.
Since you know, they were spattered with blue ink everywhere and torn and ragged at the bottoms.

Then John and I had a nice romantic evening at the laundry mat where we did all of my washing, and dried it for about 30 bucks. Had a dinner of pizza and calzones to the sounds of the rinse cycle. This is stuff love is made of, you know. (Correction: We did this Sunday Night. Sunday, not Tuesday.)

We headed back and put my laundry away, both of us dead tired but wanting to get it done. My closet is neater and he has space for his clothes now. Which is good.

Tuesday he baked a cake while I was at work. Bit crisp on top, but with enough icing you couldn't tell and it was delicious. Yes.

Wednesday I had the day off and we spent it driving to my dads house and eating. My brother, who had 2 weeks notice if not more, bailed on us and offered no real reason why. My father and I our writing him off completely. If he can't be bothered to care, then neither can we. that is all.

Dinner was delicious but then it started to snow. Bad snow too. Took us two hours to drive home when it normally takes about an hour. We stopped at a gas station and I wandered around for 20 minutes because I was frazzled and didn't want to get back in the car. I don't like almost dying, and I don't like it when I have to focus so intently on not doing so.

Thursday we did a lot of stuff, one of them being sitting around. But I honestly cant remember what. This is why I should blog on a daily basis. Seriously.
Friday and Saturday I worked, but Saturday I came home after teaching John to cook chicken over the phone and continued making dinner.

We ate and then played some guitar hero and had an entire bottle of vodka. I thought the boy was going to die. Which I will blog about later in detail because its funny as hell...

Sunday he recovered from his hangover and I slept more. We drove to Noodles and Co for lunch before meeting with the realtor about houses. Turns out theres about 88 listings for three bedroom, basement and garage. Some of them are really nice, and all of them are under the price we're looking for. I was shocked and super excited. We headed to my parents house to talk to them and ended up staying an hour.
We went back to the apartment to lounge about and clean and pack. And then we picked up Emily and left.

That is all for now, its the day after and John just logged on the internets which means I should pay attention to him. Or you know, play the sims.

Good Song. Seriously. New Ringtone. Awesome.

The rest of the recap! Horrah!

Sorry, I was going to do it last night but since it snowed here the drive home took me two hours instead of one. I was tired as fuck afterwards, but as promised I have an update for you with kitties! Horrah!

So Sunday I worked, I'm not sure how long or what I did exactly but I know I worked. I recall it not being that much fun to start with. But it got better, like when I got to go home.

Saturday we woke up at the ass crack of dawn to drive to my sisters house. Alex had his annual doctors checkup and I got the pleasure of babysitting Miss. Emily which was a riot. You know, with my two hour nap and all.

We started off the day by watching Madagascar 2. Emily was not awake yet and as you can see in the picture thrilled to bits for me to be there. "Mother, I will scream at you a thousand times for this torture!" is the caption I have given this picture. Poor girl was quite the sport at 7am.

So Madagascar was finished and Emily wanted to play dress up. John for some horrible reason (I think he hates children, to be honest) REFUSED THIS ADORABLE LITTLE GIRL!!!!

How dare he not put on a tiara and prance around having tea parties! Come now! He's excellent at them, he is British!

Emily decided that princesses do not wear pull ups and promptly sat down to change. This picture was just too cute not to share with the world. LOL.

I suggested that instead of me playing princess (Really enjoying sitting at 8am) I would be the photo person and she could have a fashion shoot. She loved the idea and started to pose.

Only problem with that is sometimes even princesses get distracted by whats on the TV....

Emily then realized she had no crown or tiara on and ran upstairs. We heard her talking to something/Someone and I called up to her, "OH! I'm Playing up here!" she yelled back. Adorable really. And then she graced us all with the entrance to end all entrances. I should take some pointers from her, honestly. She has this happy princess thing down pat.
We played princess for another half an hour or so, until she grew bored of it and then decided she had had enough.

She took off the dress and the tiara and came to sit on the couch with me. I was not done taking pictures though. She went with the "Ignore her and maybe she will go away" tactic. And boy howdy it worked. When she did not pay attention to me, I put the camera away. Smart girl, this one. She's also sitting behind my legs because I think she was cold. The poor girl. Life of a princess is very hard.
After we left my sisters house we headed off to do somethings. All of which I can't remember. I think it involved shopping for the ingredients to make lasagna and also to the pet place to see the...KITTIES!

And because John is sitting behind me and very hungry, I'm going to upload the pictures of the cats and call it a day.
The lone cat is Betsy, the one I want to adopt and bring home with me. The second one... Well its Kitty Heaven of course!

My Colon is trying to kill me...

...After this it should be a semicolon.

*Ba Dam Cha!* Grammar humor mixed with potty humor is the best. So things have happened in my life. Good things, for the most part. John got in on Saturday and we spent the afternoon doing something that I can't remember. Then we headed to my sisters house to pick her and her friends up. After dropping them off John and I headed off in the pimp Minivan (That I now wish to own) and picked up Emily.

We drove to McHenry to eat at Green Pea-pod, a Thai restaurant, but they were far too busy, it being valentines day and all. So we changed plans and went to the Chinese buffet instead.
May I just take a moment to tell you all how in High school Brittani and I would go to the buffet at least once a week? There is a love between buffets and me, instilled since I was a small child.

So John, Emily and myself over indulged in the deliciousness of mediocre Chinese food before piling back into the mini van to drop Miss. Emily off. All the while I am trying to figure out how to make the damn DVD play so Emily can watch WALL-E in the back.

We head back to the apartment, sans Emily with about 3 hours to kill. We were both tired as hell. Me because I stayed awake until three AM and him because he had worked 12 hours and then got on a flight to America.

My sister called right as we were about to leave asking if 11pm was too late. I informed her no, even though we were both dead tired. I know she doesn't get to do this all that much, being a mom and all. So I wanted her to live it up. Plus after a vacation and seeing her mother in law who I'm sure she adores greatly...She probably needed a drink or six.

John and I pull past the bar they were at and I kept going because I was going to circle the block. All of the sudden I hear shrieking behind me, "Wait! Stop! TAXI!!!" and I hit the brakes and start laughing. Three middle aged (Sorry.) women chasing after the mini van waving carnations around in the air.
It was a sight to behold I must say.

They got in the car and they were a riot. Cougar talk, talk of children and laughter. Turns out they ran out on the check, which I find hilarious. Shitty service = No pay, dammit. So I condone their behavior.
After we dropped them off John and I headed home ready for sleep. Poor boy was dying of exhaustion and I was near that point.

And that's all for right now. You get Saturday. When I get back from my dads I will tell you about Sunday and Monday, with pictures included!

I hate mornings.

Theres a strange Englishman sitting on my bed insisting I don't hate mornings. I do. If I wasnt so lazy I would turn on my cam and show the world how not awake I am.

Oh, speaking of Englishman, JOHN IS HERE. Which means updating wont really be happening since he hates the computer when he is here. Little does he know that I will be sitting here for the majority of his time... Maybe. Bwahahaha.

victory, how sweet you are.

More importantly, who let these hoes in my room?

Displaced emotions

I worry a lot. So Emily, I'm sorry.
Please ignore my drunken tear filled rants regarding what you eat and don't eat, please.
See, I was drunk. And depressed. And since I can't fix the process resulting in death with my Grandma, you got the short straw last night and I tried to fix you.

On the upside, it was a hilarious time now that I think back to it. And jesus my head hurts.

Well theres that family bond broken

Yesterday I called my brother to tell him about Grandma and he hung up on me.
I called him back and said something along the lines of,
"Look, what I have to say is important, dammit, so why don't you pull your head out of your goddamn ass and listen for thrity seconds. Grandma is dying, and I don't expect you to care or do anything. You can do what you always do and flake out. Don't worry, you don't have to lift a finger. I'll be there when she dies and handle everything. Just though you wanted to know you self absorbed asshole."

And then I hung up on him. I don't think he'll be calling me anytime soon.

Sleep heals all wounds.

I slept for 7 hours. I got tired of sitting here pretending to be interested in the internet and eating Peanut butter. So I went to bed. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I just wanted my teddy bear and to stare at something that wasn't my computer. The wall worked out just fine.
But then my body betrayed me and instead of letting me think horrible things that would just make me cry, it passed out for the night shutting down my thinking and protecting me from myself.
Probably for the best.

Jes still isn't home yet from the hospital. Which is good, she's getting taken care of, but bad because this apartment is so empty. I like being alone. Just not right now. Please, I need voices. I need something to distract me from this. I need someone around so I can pretend to be happy and alright and myself.
I'm not myself. I am but I'm not.

I think the process of someone dying is far worse than someone just outright dying.
At least if she was already dead I would have no choice in the matter. Now I sit by her side and whisper at her to keep fighting and being stubborn. How very selfish of me, no?
For the last two years I haven't gone to see her. She didn't know who I was and I couldn't bring myself to watch someone else I love die. I'm a selfish person.

And I apologized for that.

The most depressing part of it all? I'm sitting there crying and babbling to her, I tell her to tell Mom and Grandpa I love them and miss them and she stares right at me for at least ten seconds before closing her eyes again.
I have never watched anyone die like this before. Ever.
Its heartbreaking and not something I would suggest to anyone.

I told them, being the nurses, that if she gets worse regardless of the time I want to be there. I am not letting her die alone without family. I may not have been there for the other two, but theres no one around to protect me from it now, and its something that has to be done.

God she already looks like shes been dead for years. I need a drink. A strong drink. I need a hug and a drink and maybe another 13 hours of sleep.

Death: Reaching for Jesus?

Today I went to the "Meeting" which happened to be an hour earlier than I thought. I somehow got roped into sitting with my Grandma for hours on end.
I cried. I also called in sick to work.

I'm upset. I'm going to be upset. This is an upsetting thing. But for the love of god, do not coddle me and treat me like I'm about to break at any moment. I'm not, and if I were I would lock myself away from the world and cry, I wouldn't need anyones shoulder, I don't need your comforting words.

She's going to die. She is really old. The end.

So this lady, Gail, is part of the Hospice program. She sat there asking questions about myself and my family and things. Trying to get me to talk and open up.
I don't do therapy. I should get that printed on a shirt for times such as this one.

She kept telling me my Grandma was reaching up towards God. I tolerated it, but insisted I didn't want to pray. I don't pray unless it's something along the lines of "Please let this light stay green." Or "Please make this headache go away."
So needless to say that was a shit ton of fun.

I've been home for an hour or so now and I've just kinda sat. I've played some sims, but my heart wasn't in it. I wandered around the apartment but nothing appeals to me. I'm now eating peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon.

The fact that all I want to do right now is pour a very strong drink and then go to bed, indicates that perhaps I'm not as well adjusted as I pretend to be. But for you, world, I will be putting on a brave face. You won't have to see my tears, listen to my sighs or be inside my head while I regret so many things in my life.

And now, the tears.

Monday? More like FUNDAY!

Not really, but we can go ahead and pretend.

I spent a lot of time today driving. Emily finally came over around 2ish and we hung out for an hour before leaving to go to my moms. She was not there. My father? Also not there.
So I ate some food and we got back in the car to come back to Woodstock. We figured we'd try to get the damn tree in my car, at least to kill time. Turns out, it fit! The base was outside the car window, but it was in there.

We got to Uhaul only to discover the bag I picked up that I thought had the key and pass card in it, did not. So I was upset and annoyed with myself, but I put on a brave face.

We drove to my moms for dinner, where it was a good time. Pork Chops were ok, but the conversation was hilarious. My brother, Van, wants to wear a purple tux to my wedding. My mom also told me that he has no choice. "So really, when you said I should ask him you meant that I should tell him?" she nodded and laughed.
I miss my family sometimes.

After dinner we headed BACK To the Uhaul and managed to sucessfully get inside. The shit was in the storage unit and I was a happy girl.
We head back to my mom's because she has something to tell me.

Turns out my Grandma is not doing well. She's going into Hospice, which is the nursing care that comes to where you are, and clearly takes care of you. This means in 6 months she could be dead. She could be dead before I get married. Before I have kids, hell before the lease on this apartment is up.

Tomorrow I'm going to an 11:30AM meeting at the home she is in to meet with the director. My parents are coming with, which is good. I need to hear all of the grusome details, and perhaps for the first time in a long time, see my grandmother.

Friendship hurts.

I drank far too much last night. Shame that today is "CLEANING DAY!" here at the apartment. Emily will be over shortly and then the crazy cleaning can begin.
Horrah!
I also need to go get my dads Jeep. Why must they live so far away? Coffee is good, but I think I need sleep more than anything at this point.

Shaun Wolfe

Tonight I met my newest "Nephew" DeChaun.... well to be honest I am not sure how to spell it. But I do know that with 10 fingers and 10 toes he is nearly as perfect as Alex and Emily (Oh look at me name drop!)

Theres something completely different about knowing that for the next 10 months you will be living with the baby. Its not as strong as a family bond, but there is an instant want to have the baby know you and not fuss around you.

On the upside, My roommate is back to her old self and I was honest with her about being a complete cunt over the last 2 months. She did not deny and we had a wonderful time and I can not wait till they come home.

Ps. Emily, You do not need to diet. You are perfect the way you are. The End.

Poodle.

I haven't spoken to you in over a month and its driving me mad. I know we're both busy with work and having lives, but I'm slowly missing you more and more.

Remember when you went to Italy for a month? Patti cried and I tried my hardest not too, but it was like a part of me was missing.

You came home and instantly we were back to finishing each others sentences and laughing our heads off.

With out you, how am I to perform the shovel test? I failed it, you know. I wish you lived closer and didn't work as much. I wish you weren't a social butterfly.
I secretly want you to devote all of your free time to me.

I can hear your giggle right now. The kind of giggle that happens after I say something stupid, and you love me for it anyway. I miss your laugh, the kind you have right before we both delve into a fit of snorting.
The 5am rides singing at the top of our lungs as we chain smoke, with out a care in the world? I miss that too. You are my poodle, I am your pookie.
And there's this loud boisterous thing missing in my life right now.
I think it's you.

I give you shit for the stupid things you do, because someone needs too. Your other friends will ignore it, or are too infatuated to comment on them. But i need you to sit with me, telling me "Yes, you do need a zester" and "Yes, those are amazing pants."
Theres just something about a gay best friend that brings out the best in me. I haven't laughed the way I laugh with you in a long time. I miss our jokes. I miss our random moments of hilarity for no reason at all.
I miss 3am drives to Arbys because I want curly fries.

I know you're upset. And you think life hates you. But Poodle you're an amazing person, and I know that its going to get better for you. It will get better long before it gets any worse. You keep smiling and laughing, and keep busting your ass because you're going to make it out of this alive. I promise you.

God, I hate that I have to go to work and can't call you and make you come over.
I wish you would call me more. I feel like sometimes you're so wrapped up in your own life that you forget there are others in it, others who you don't see everyday, but should.

And now, I have to go to work.

Happy Birthday DeShaun Wolfe!

Last night Jes and Joey left here around 8pm. I didn't think anything of it, and when she hadn't come back at 2am I wondered if perhaps she was headed to the hospital.
I went to bed and text her this morning when I noticed she had not come home.

Turns out she has had the baby, so Congrats to her! She's sore from her C-section and has yet to be given drugs.
I'm glad she's had the baby. But apparently he is super tiny and 20 days early. I need to clean this apartment. Which is what I will be doing on Monday, my day off. Scrubbing and making it super clean.

Until then...ITS LIKE I LIVE ALONE! HORRAH!

Ps. I'm a bit miffed that she did this with out me :( I wanted to be there for her.
Oh well, I guess its because Emily was over.

Walmart: I wish you'd burn down.

I woke up early this morning and sat around for a few hours. I got bored of doing that so threw some laundry in and cleaned my room. I felt at peace after, perhaps it's just me. Cleaning is therapeutic, and not something I used to do. But when I'm stressed or upset about anything I find a good "ARGH! AT YOU LAUNDRY!" is the solution to my problems. Throwing away garbage is like metaphorically throwing away the things that are bothering me.

Also, is there a way to throw away your uterus? Like I don't want CSI Woodstock knocking on my door because of the DNA match and asking if I'm alive. But I'm totally cool with cutting it out right now and throwing it out the window.

Work was lame, as per usual. There is never anything to do, which makes time crawl and its getting to the point that if I'm not busy I'm liable to be in a down right bitter mood. I cant say honestly, that I like my job. But I can say that I like the people and it pays the bills. Speaking of bills, I got paid today.
Shame I left all the money in my car.

I have to go to bed soon. Not only am I tired, but I have to be up early tomorrow and I want to make sure I get enough sleep. Sitting on the computer will almost guarantee that I wont get enough sleep.
So I'm going to crawl into bed and read Emily Dickinson for a while until I'm too morose to move, or fall asleep with the book.
Either works for me.

Tsk. Drama, drama, drama...

Yesterday was fun. I cleaned and then Emily and I went to drop off my resume at the temp agency that had apparently closed down... :( So then we picked up my Pictures at JCPenny and decided to "Register" for the wedding. (I picked out a 400$ Area rug! ahahahaha.)

Then headed back here to watch TV and eat dinner. We started drinking and playing Boogie Superstars, which I must say is the best cardio workout of all time. You look like a tool, but by the end of the 3 minute dancing I'm dying.

I walked into the kitchen to turn out the light and there is Joey, rolling a blunt. I told him that I don't want pot in this apartment, and he can do whatever he likes outside of this building. But I am not going to risk my ass because he wants to get high.
I also told Jes the same thing so he wouldn't tell her something and she gets all pissy for upsetting him.

Jes came out and said "Whatever issues we have, we don't discuss infront of her." Meaning Emily.
I told her flat out that it was an issue I wasn't going to wait to comment on. It needed to be dealt with right then and there.

And here I was thinking that I had made it perfectly clear that I didn't want drugs in the apartment. Emily respects me enough to not bring any, its a shame no one else does.

We're going to the chapel....

So yesterday I had an appointment with Davids Bridal to try on wedding dresses. Emily finally convinced me to go, so I dragged her and invited my Mom to come along. (Also invited my sister but she's all "Grown up" and has one of those "Real Jobs" people keep talking about.)

Emily and I drove in my car and ended up arriving about 40 minutes early. We both forgot about breakfast so I bought us sandwiches at Jimmy Johns across the street. I seriously forgot how good Jimmy Johns is. And it really is, Freaky fast. You walk in and this chorus of "Hey!" "Hows it going" "Sup?" fill the air and its just a wee bit unnerving.

We headed to Davids Bridal and filled out the forms and then... It was time. I tried on a princess dress (When I get to my moms I will link to pictures.) and the train was far too long, plus it weighed about 50 lbs with all the stuff on the bodice.
I then tried on another princess dress, which I don't have pictures for, but knew I didn't like it.
Then I tried on my dress, WHICH YOU CAN SEE HERE. MEANING JOHN DON'T CLICK, and I loved it. It made me look skinny and tall and not to mention LIKE A PRINCESS!

But Emily and Mom insisted I try on other dresses. I think I tried about 15 on total, and by the end of it I was exhausted. We got the dress, the slip, the corset/bra thing, my Veil, Blusher and of course... MY TIARA, Because what princess is complete with out one?

Mom then signed up for the DB Credit card and bought the dress and all the fixins to go with it while Emily and I pondered Bridesmaid dresses. I have decided that we're going to do a black and White wedding, since we don't really know what month or season it will happen in. And then we can at least use whatever color from that season as accent colors and such. (See ma, I'm a girl sometimes!)

So all in all, I had an awesome day yesterday. Emily came over and I made us some pasta for dinner only to play BOOGIE SUPERSTARS for the next two hours. That game has started to be quite the work out.
I then finished my drink, had a few more, and went to bed. Dress shopping is TIRING.
This is why I prefer pants.

Oh, and apparently my ragged old Adidas Flipflop/Sandals are not appropriate Wedding wear :(

Seeing Red...

So tonight John went out with his friends. His parents said it was cool that in 3 months we apply for the marriage visa. I'm stoked. More about that later.

He comes home and starts arguing on MSN with his sister. I lol'd.

She turns around and posts this on my facebook :"come to fuckin england on ur own fuckin money and stop wastin johns"
to which I respond with this,
At least a continent away I still know John's not off screwing other girls. Perhaps until you get your own life under control you should keep your fucking nose out of everyone elses?

You're so damn lucky your family is too damn nice to kick you out on your ass for being a stupid self absorbed bitch. I've played nice for a long fucking time, and I ... Read Morethink you're a lovely person. But you need to get your god damn mood swings under control and stop taking it out on the people who love you.

Why don't you go verbally bitch slap your crappy boyfriend for a change and leave the rest of your family alone?



She has no idea who she is dealing with. Long ago, when she was out of her mind I told John to hit her in the face with a shovel. That feeling passed but tonight its back full force.
She is damn lucky there is an ocean between us, or I'd smack the hoe.