Epic England: Post 2


As promised I am posting yet again. But before I get to my England adventures, I’m going to go ahead and tell you about the last few days in America. Yes, I’m that cool.

Work was pleasant, I suppose. I actually really missed some of the people I worked with. And it always amazes me how much they care. I was greeted by hugs, running leaping hugs if you count Laeci, and “how was it? did you have a great time?” in a chorus. A few people were privileged to the whole story of greatness, most just got “I had an amazing time, but it was exhausting.” Which it was.

It’s hard to believe that at a job I hate, I could have made so many great friends.

Serious note now: Remember how I told you all about Penny?  Well I came back asking about her, she’s doing just fine. In a few more weeks she’ll be back at work and hopefully come with a fruit salad.

Apparently Walmart breeds sadness since a few weeks ago, I was hung-over on a Sunday and had to go to work. I spent the day talking and laughing with Melanie, who trained me and we’ve been friends ever since, but Melanie was suffering from horrible migraines. Right before I left Beth told me she had been admitted to the hospital, and upon closer inspection she had a brain tumor.

That was the last I heard before fleeing the country.

I came back and wasn’t sure how to touch the subject, “Hey Beth, did your cousin die yet?” or “Hey Beth, how is Melanie?” Only to open a wound that may have just healed if she had died. Fuck, I was screwed. So I went to Pat, “Pat.. Did Melanie die?” turns out she didn’t, and she came in later that day.

Her surgery went well, but it’s terminal. As most cancers to the brain are. I saw her and just walked over and hugged her. How unfair is life, hmm? This woman raised three boys on her own because her ex husband was a wife beater. All three of them are either out of college, in College or in the case of her youngest, heading off to an out of state college on a full scholarship.

I know “God works in mysterious ways” but sometimes, his ways fucking suck ass.

OK. Seriousness aside, although that was a rather somber post- wasn’t it? Hmm. I guess I should lighten things up a bit around here.


So on to England! I’m warning you now though, it’s written strangely and I’m still sick so I’m copying straight out of my notebook as is. Maybe a few edits, but not many


Right now I’m sitting on a massive train- we’re headed to Paris. Four hours of sleep and one really full day ahead of us. John is attempting to sleep, but I figure I’ll just muddle through. So while I finally have a moment of peace, I shall catch you up on the going ons of my life. 


As you know, Thursday was drinking at the Greystoke with Geoff. Well Friday was much the same except no Greystoke, or Geoff.
Friday during the day John and I just wandered around town popping in and out of stores while I spent all my money. Overall loot? Two purses, a shiny silver belt a set of earrings, necklace and bracelet, plus a watch (Edit: Which has now gone missing. Believe to have left it in Paris.)

After an exhausting day shopping and picking up not only above loot but headphones for my IPod, a memory card for my Camera and a USB Stick to store my pictures on we treated ourselves to ice-cream and started the long walk home. And by long, I mean like 20 minutes. On the way home I saw a bag in a window, lilac leather with two black outlined flowers on it. I walked in and asked how much it was, and after hearing the price told them I would take it. Apparently, I have a thing for handbags, who knew?

After getting home we showered and got ready for a night of laughter at the Comedy club in Fuck if I know. Some town some where, in England. Picking up Joey on the way; Paul, Joey, John and myself squeezed into the taxi. Overall the night was fun, although it took two hours for our food even if we did order first. The comedy was alright, some were funnier than others, and the accents…very hard to understand sometimes.

Saturday John and I took a wander to Little Venice,  after wandering around a bit we settled on having lunch upon a boat. before getting in line for another boat that would take us down the Canal and to Camden market.

Dear Americans: When you are in another country stop being so damn American.

When we were in line, a father and son had been in front of us. They left to go to the bathroom, and we didn’t move up in the line because they had left their things there so we assumed they’d be back. This group of Americans comes up, and starts saying they don’t like the hole in the line, and that it’s bad etc etc. Then they cut in front of us and even I was tempted to push them and their designer clothes into the dirty canal.

We got to Camden market where we did what else, but more shopping. Few trinkets bought here and there but the ultimate prize was the beautiful hair thing I got, silver with a light purple butterfly and some sparkly stones. As soon as I figure out how to use it, I will. But I’m thinking I’ll wear it to the wedding, since it’s you know, a butterfly. Yes.

When we got back we were supposed to meet up with Geoff and Kira for a night of fun at the spinning wheel maybe? But since my ear had been hurting something awful John and his mom got me an appointment at the hospital to be looked at. She drove us there, Ealing hospital, to the ER. Or whatever they call it. There was a little clinic at the side and we only waited a few minutes before we went in. Not too shabby.

We had infections. Both ears. One was old, the other not so old. Got some drugs and pain pills and the best part? Cost me nothing. Fuck you, America. Fuck you.

His mom then drove around with us trying to find the 24 hour pharmacy- Bliss. Turns out, it’s not 24 hours. Bliss was closed. We get back to the house and his parents take off to the one 24 hour pharmacy he knew off. While they were gone John poured me a very strong and yet, very delicious captain and diet.

I couldn’t thank them enough when they got home and handed me my pills. Turns out the two prescriptions cost about 10 bucks. I was floored. I felt like hell, but I couldn’t help but smile.

I woke up Sunday morning feeling much better, although there was a bit of pain here and there it was nothing to be overly worried about. John made breakfast for us both and then we embarked, his parents and us, on a journey to some very tiny and old villages. I believe Bribury and Helford, but I could be horribly wrong but either way it is not that important.

I loved every minute of it. The dead duck was brilliant as was the massive hill we had to trek up, so difficult. You have no idea. Lovely lunch with John and his parents, quite possibly one of the greatest burgers I have ever eaten.

Spent the next hour wandering around the town, buying things for other people and myself. We stopped inside their Museum room full of old stuff, that was interesting. We headed back to the car after buying some cake and chocolate. John ate his cake, and rather enjoyed it I think..


We got back and prepared ourselves to meet up with everyone at the plough, which is a pub in…somewhere. By the curry place! And that train station…And it apparently has a potted plant that will not hold me up when drunk, but that’s another story.

Joey, Paul, John, Jon Kenny, Belinda, Geoff, Kira and myself were present. We had alcohol a plenty, John and I did a shot of tequila and the night nearly ended with a Kebab Gross meat thing in a Styrofoam container that you used a small two pronged wooden fork to eat. But then Jon Kenny and Belinda invited us back to theirs where more beer was to be had. John and I finally got a cab at 2 am and found our way to bed around three.

We wake up early the next morning to go meet John’s Aunt Shirley and his grandma. After roughly two hours in the car we arrived and I was greeted with open arms. Conversation flowed but John and I kept giggling at each other, “I have no idea who Allison is..” and his mom left to go get his grandma and his dad who had taken the train down. His grandma was, quite frankly, very old. 90 something if I remember correctly.

Lunch was very good, a spread of cold meats and veggies. Mmm Veggies. Dessert was apple cobbler, but I had to pass on it seeing as I was full. After four more hours of talking we finally headed out- in a storm that reminded me of home. After a quick stop at McDonalds we finally got home.

We were exhausted and yet we had to pack because the following morning we were off to Paris- although John failed to mention the euro star would go under the sea. (Which is where I was when I wrote this.)

We woke up at 4AM. Do you have any idea how cold a tent in London is at 4Am? I’ll give you a hint, ever been in a lake at 6am in upper Wisconsin? Its a bit like that, just less roaring.

So here we are, blindly groping around since neither of us can keep our eyes open. We get to the train station and I’m outside having my morning smoke while John got some Euros. All I wanted was a coffee and 2 more hours of sleep. We did stop at a store in the station and picked up sandwiches, diet coke, coke and some Kleenex. Oddly enough the coke lasted until the train ride home. Diet coke? Never stood a chance.

On the train we were tired, but excited. We ate and then both managed to fall asleep for the entire journey to Paris- (Edit: Can you tell that at some point I stopped writing and continued? This is what I meant where I said It’d be confusing.)

We woke up, in France. It was wonderful. “Wonder how much longer we have?” And BAM we’re in the station. We got off and quickly looked for a bathroom for me, since I had to pee like a racehorse. We step outside and I laugh, first thing I am greeted with in France is a McDonalds. The brilliance of it all made me giggle like a girl. We stood around waiting for a taxi before realizing there was a line of people waiting for taxis. It wasn’t until about forty minutes later we were blessed with a taxi.

John had purchased a map and a book of Paris where as I had gotten a book of French Phrases. I learned quickly that I am much better at German and French is nothing like German. We got to the Hotel far to early to check in so we left our suitcase there. Teddy came with us as we walked towards the Eiffel tower.

We stopped in a bakery and picked up a few goodies. In the park next to the tower we sat down on a bench to eat before getting in the longest line in the history of the world. After an hour even two, we bought or tickets. I was freaking out, worried about being so high up, seeing as I am terrified of heights.

(Note: 2058 words so far. Goodness me!)

I’m going to end this one with a video and pick up either later today or tomorrow.


Swine Flu

Sorry I haven't updated more about my trip. I managed to contract something my last day in England, and have been coughing and sniffling. Not to mention the sneezing and headaches, so I've been a bit unwell. I finally gave in tonight and got some more drugs and hopefully those will either help or kill me. I promise that Monday I will do a Mass update since it's my day off, and finish my blogs about England. Until then a picture will have to do.


The Amazing English Adventure


I’ve been sitting here for hours trying to find the words to use to write this blastedly long thing, and I feel the best way to do it is in chunks instead of one long post. So you’re going to have to deal with the break up of days, and the overload of pictures. Thankfully I wrote it all down already, but the copying it over while I strain to read the notebook at my side is going to be a pain.


June 9th 2009

David, Emily and I had dinner at the Chop Suey hut before loading ourselves into the car to head to the airport. Songs were sung and laughter was had, while I irritatingly took pictures of every moment that I could.

They dropped me off at 7pm and I used the self check in to get through in no time at all. I rushed to my gate, wanting to be done with the whole flying experience only to realize I now had nearly three hours to wait before boarding. So I sat, and I read. I talked on the phone a bit, but I mostly read. Finished a book, started another.

We finally boarded, and I was ready to sleep. Wearing a hoody, Sunglasses and earphones. I had taken two sleeping pills prior to getting on the plane because I had every intention of sleeping through the entire journey.

Apparently I was wrong.

I managed a little under two hours of sleep. So I read some more. Watched a movie or two, and resumed reading. By the time the plane landed I wanted a cigarette so badly I’d have smoked right there if I didn’t think it would get me arrested.

The plane landed at 11:45. We ended up sitting on the runway for an extra hour due to our gate being used. When I got through to customs the lady told me to wait at the side and then took my passport. I knew the drill, so I sat, fiddling with my purse and hugging my teddy bear, waiting to hear whatever she had to say.

The last time I went there was an interview, and it was a few hours. This time only a few minutes even if it felt like an eternity. She let me through and I went and collected my luggage, beating my other plane mates out even though I was delayed.

John met me and led me over to his mother, who had coffee and diet coke waiting for me. After a warm welcome I admitted all I wanted was a cigarette. So we headed outside to smoke, while I told them the joys of flying.

After that we headed to the car, and I moved to get in the passenger side, which in England, is actually the drivers side. I was confused, tired and looked like an ass. “Oh right, England” I said with a laugh as I went around the other way.

We got to his house and Paul, Sarah, John and I all decided to head to the greystoke for a beer. I needed one after the day I had. It was a decent walk, but John tore my pants. We were walking and all the sudden I hear a ripping sound and I look down and my favorite pants have been maimed. Horrible maimed. What a jerk, no?

After a few beers we headed back and had dinner with the family. At 7pm I had decided I was done and we went to the tent to sleep.

Woke up the next morning with a sore throat and birds singing. Did I mention we’re sleeping in a tent?


June 10th 2009

Went to Westfield with John’s Mom, sister and John. We were on a mission to find shoes, and yet all I managed to walk out with was a few more books. The mall itself was massively large. Like it’s woodfield size, and yet I think it might be bigger. We spent a few hours there, before John’s sister threw a tantrum and ruined the day.

At this mall I learned that English Starbucks suck compared to American starbucks. I was scared they were going to fuck up my order, but they didn’t thankfully. They did fuck up John’s though. Oh well, we lived.

Went home and had dinner with the family before meeting up with Geoff for a drink. Went to the Greystoke yet again and had an awesome time. John decided to switch to vodka and red bull and I figured I’d follow suit. Then before heading back to the tent Geoff bought us a few cans of beer to enjoy on the way home. Which was a great idea in my eyes.

After we said our goodbyes John and I called it a night and yet managed to stay up till nearly 5am. Hmm, how strange.


The rest is a different form of writing

, that I started at like 5am. So I’ll save that for another entry which I’ll post some time tomorrow I’m guessing. This is all you get for now, so cherish it.


Just a quick update

Hey everyone! I'm back in the good ol' US of A finally. It's been a long if not great, two weeks. But it's good to be home. I have so much to do today my head is spinning. One of the things on my to-do list is to upload some pictures of my trip here, and write an epic blog about the entire journey. But first, I need to poop and quite possibly eat a happy hippo for breakfast.

Be on the look out for an update later tonight, or even in the wee hours of the morning because it's so going to happen. I promise.


Hello readers!

Hey folks! How you doing? I feel like it's been ages since I've written anything, because in all honesty it has been. I feel empty with out my blog, I feel like I have nothing going on when I don't update although the last week has been one of the best and busiest of my life. I've been here and there doing all sorts of wonderful things.
I've been writing it all down in a notebook because it's going to be epic. the longest post I've ever written and figure I will wait until I can't sleep one night to get it all down. I mean I have 14 days of things to write about.

But I can give you some of the highlights at the moment. I am in England, sleeping in a massive tent with John having a wonderful time. I've been shopping twice, to paris, France once and finally found two pairs of NICE shoes that FIT me. I've taken a train under the sea, I've climbed to the top of Notre dame and tried Fish and chips. I've been out drinking, I've had a proper curry and my personal favorite is that I now have a shiney pink phone to use tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow it's my birthday, which makes me the grand total of 23 years old for those of you keeping score. Tomorrow we're going to a greek place with John's friends and siblings. After that we're going to some pub club where I can shake my groove thing if I so choose to do so. Oddly enough, for once, I am looking forward to my birthday. Instead of wondering if people will call me and say happy birthday, I will go out with them and probably have the best party of all time- granted nothing will top Emily's birthday for me. :)

So thats my life at the moment in a nutshell, we're looking into the visa information, and it's going to be a long 6 months where I can not work- but I figure with a puppy and a kitchen I shall be quite content. I miss everyone back home and I can't wait to get back to the sweltering heat and tornado warnings. And my car. God I miss my car.

Im really upset that I left a ruben and a chicken sandwich in the back seat of that car, it's going to reek when I get back.


Made it

I'm now sitting in the living room of John's house. In England. I'm ok. I'm not dead. Yay! Will properly update later when My head stops hurting.


This is why I never leave my room

Can’t sleep…Must Blog

Alright I don’t NEED to blog, but I figured since I’m far to excited about leaving tonight I’d kill the time by posting the pictures from my camera with the children. Horrah!











P1010026 P1010022



Kudos to Emily for this song

Technorati Tags:

I can not stop playing, singing or dancing to this brilliant song.



Super Soakers and Children

Today I spent the afternoon at My sister’s house enjoying the company of my adorable niece and nephew. I’m really far to tired to write much, but the general idea is we played with water guns. And I don’t think any of us were winners.

I’ll upload my pictures tomorrow, but for now I’ll just share the ones my sister took. Cuz I’m a photo thief.



Emily stripped down to her underwear in the back yard. I know how she’s going to pay for college… *Ho-hum*






And my FAVORITEST PICTURE EVER. (Massive Kudos to my sister for having amazing timing.)



I haven’t even moved yet and I already miss the hell out of em.

An attempt at Vlogging

Note: Sorry it's so blastedly long. Next time I'll try to keep it shorter, eh? But get used to these. When I move it's going to be a massive way for me to communicate with my family and other people I deem worthy.

So yay or Nay to the Vlog? Because if it's a nay I wont do it again until desperately needed. But I wanted to do something different and fun.



So yesterday I was at work talking about my upcoming trip and how my manager, the idiot Mike, Gave me three extra days off and thus I have three days to play the Sims 3 (Which I bought) and drink and celebrate life with Emily so she doesn't feel abandoned.

Well someone asked when I'm married if I was going to live in England. I said no, and then wondered why. My biggest tie here has always been my friends and family, but since I only have a few friends, and my family isn't going anywhere.. Theres nothing really tying me down.

So I made the choice to move to England. The adventure I've been craving for has been in front of me for years. There are new friends to be made, and new family to have.. They wont replace anyone, (EMILY) but they will make it easier. And my biggest fear has been working full time at Walmart, a job I hate and can't fucking stand. And it makes more sense to have John, who has a great job that can support us while I look for work. It seems sensible, no?

So I decided to do it. What is life with out living, eh? Here I am presented with this amazing chance to do something out of character and unpredictable and instead of hiding in the box I've lived in for so long out here in Illinois, I'm going to move 6000 miles away.

I'm so excited. Frightened a bit, but mostly excited. So thats why. I'm sorry Em, and all my family. But I will have a 2-3 week trip each year, and I will be home for certain holidays. AND YOU CAN COME TO ENGLAND TO VISIT!? I see no downside. Other than it'll be hard to get a unicorn on a plane...


Uttering words

And with a single sentence, I saved my future marriage.

"I'm moving to England."

I need a vacation

I don't need the kind where I fly to England for two weeks and sleep in a tent. I need the kind where I pack up everything I own, rent a truck and point to a place on the map and go. I Want to do something reckless and with abandonment. Something that will change my life. Something that I can look back on when I'm 50 and think "Heh, You're so dumb Boyd, but what a good choice."

Emily asked what was tying me here. Other than Rent and My family? Nothing. I hate my job, My roommate is meh, there is nothing holding me here. And it sucks, because I refuse to do it. I won't do it. I'll dream of doing it and wish I did it, when I'm old and grey. But I won't ever do it.

I'm too scared to let go and live outside the box that is Suburbia. I'm safe, I'm 30 minutes at most away from food, Shelter and love. Like honestly, I'm too much of a wimp to just pack up and go.

Regardless of how badly I want to at times.

Deleting Friends...Fixing relationships?

My life has gotten so laughable that even I'm not sure what to do anymore. So thats two friends gone in a short span, sorry Emily, John may get jealous of you soon and I'll have to delete you as well. It'll be a lot harder to delete you from real life, so I'll just kill ya, k?

Fuckin hell man. Why don't I do stand up? Seriously, I have an arsenal of retardedness to share with the world.


Best Almost Birthday EVER.

I've been sitting here for like 20 minutes wondering how to put such amazing fun in words, but we're going to give it a shot. Yesterday was my "Birthday Celebration" with Emily since I will be gone for my actual birthday. We had a fucking RIOT.

She came over and I made us both french toast, which was delicious. While I waited for my camera battery to charge she did the dishes out of boredom. After we were ready to go we headed to the Police station to take a picture of the horse, that proves we aren't crazy. After that it was a quick trip to Jo-Anne's to get all of the shit out of my car.

With that done we were off to my Mom's house to play in the park and eat delicious rubens. Mmm. so we drag my little sister Hope along with us, because we've been discussing the need for a Lackey for days now, and finally an opportunity knocked and we took that bitch! My sister proceeded to film and take pictures of us acting like complete morons. Because thats how we roll, down hills, in woods, in wood-chips.. We like rollin k?

We headed back to my moms to eat and help Van with his Math, gave up and left.
Got back here to the apartment and while Emily napped for two hours, I uploaded the pictures and movies. Heh. She woke up, freaked out and left.
Went to pick her up after I had packed all my laundry into bags, then headed to Walmart to get booze.
The lines were too long and there was a girl there wearing, and I wish I was making this up, a pair of Beige boy shorts, a jacket and snow boots. I wish I had my camera because it was just fucking funny.

We gave up on Walmart and went to Jewel where we got the small bottle of Jager. We then went and started my laundry. We snuck off to the bathroom, doing shots and passing the can of redbull around. We were drunk, kicking the door and moaning so they would think we were lesbians instead of two girls getting drunk in a bathroom.

Well the Jager ran out, so we trekked to the Gas station, singing dear prudence, which should have been a sign that we probably didn't need more. They appreciated the singing, but informed us there was no jager. We were sad, so we went back to jewel. lol. Singing to people in a gas station, we're nuts.

So more jager acquired and laundry now in dryers I went to the bathroom and leaned out calling, "Come to me Lova" And emily giggling as she stumbled over. We nearly killed the large bottle of Jager. It got to the point where we were having a conversation. If I was talking, she'd take a sip and then hand me the bottle and then it was her time to talk.

We ended up sitting on the bench passing the bottle back and forth like hobos.
Now, I designated myself as the "Correct door Pointer outer" so I told this guy and he said thanks, and before we left he gave us a candy bar. We don't understand it.

So all in all, it was a fucking brilliant night. And I can't wait to do it again, because that shit was tons of fun!


Fun at the part

Hope was our Lacky and camera girl. She did a wonderful job panning back and forth between our mayhem and chaos.

All in all it was a good day! I'm so tired that I don't want to move. :( Ever again.


What? Omg. Dad!?

I spent the day at my father's house. It was a good time, and I managed to get this little gem. Note: Headphones are needed if children or co-workers are around.

Ugh. Why am I awake?

Oh thats right, my dad is taking me to dinner, so I have to be awake at nine. (You figure that one out, I can't.)

So softball. Saturday I completely forgot about it, woke up at 11 and showered and John reminded me that I had to go, so I called Jo and hauled ass over to the fields. I got my awesome Heatwave shirt, which I'm uber excited about. We stood around talking and supervising for three or four hours, while I worked on my sunburn. At four I had to go to work, but promised to be there the next day.

Sunday I called in sick to work, since I agreed to help all day a few months ago and forgot, And at 530am I got dressed and headed to the fields yet again. Only difference is I stopped and picked up cigarettes and some redbull this time.
It's so cold out at 530am. Like, cold enough to die a slow frozen death. And the sun? God damn it's bright.

So We start hauling boxes and coolers and boxes from the cars to the various tables and I'm thinking about how tired I am and how fucking cold out it is. Thankfully it started to warm up so I rolled up my sleeves and started the process of getting Skin Cancer.

More people started showing up so we started up the grill so we could all have our 9am hotdog. Slowly things were starting to come together, coolers were filled, people were getting some coffee in them which helped.

The day went on with out a hitch. I went to go get Emily at 11ish because I was cooked and needed to get out of the sun. We had lunch at Applebees because if I had one more burger I'd die a horrible cow related death. So we finish eating, and I finished my delicious and much needed beer, and we headed back to my house to pick up my Camera.

We get to the field around 2ish and hear Jo-Anne has been hit with a ball. I flip out, but keep it in. (This woman is tiny, those balls are not.) She's fine, but I'm waiting on her hand and foot. They need us to run out and get more coke and something else that I forgot. I brought it back and then after an hour or so Emily wants to leave, so I drop her off.

I get back with Starbucks in hand and Jo-Anne is hiding in the equipment shed, apparently two more balls have nearly hit her at this point and she's been banished. The day resumes until Another foul ball comes our way and she's hiding behind the door screaming, "NOT AGAIN! NOT AGAIN!!" And I'm laughing my ass off to much to care about being hit.

But I feel for the lady, last year I got hit in the center of my back from a foul ball. I walked it off. hah. I told her to suck it up, she smacked my sunburn :(

A bit later, I'm helping Doya on the grill, and all the sudden this girl swings and you hear the TINK of a foul ball off the bat and we just watch as it's headed straight to Jo. We all yell "UP" and she's ducking and hiding under a flimsy Aluminum pan, and I'm laughing again. Next thing I know she's got a bucket on her head and I'm convulsing with laughter.

She heads to the porta Potty, sans bucket, and comes out laughing. She's telling me she hit her head in teh porta potty and I'm looking at this crazy woman and point to the shed and yell, "Thats it, Get your bucket and go to your shed!" lol.

the night was closing quickly, and we were packing up the cars and the sun was setting (Thank god) My car is stuffed with coolers, Charcoal, Buns and fritos. there is no room for anyone but me.
Well I went to back into the grass so I could get out of there and BAM I hit a fucking tree. (Can't see out the back window. :( ) Well I look out my window and yell, "Who the fuck put the tree there?" and Jo comes over all worried, "No no, I'm fine." I tell her as I get out. We check the damage and I'm all "Thank god David hit me and I never got that fixed, since it looks just fine to me." And then I'm babbling about how it's a rum night.

We say goodbye yet again and I manage to get out of there with out anymore incident. Get home, slather on some Aloe and painfully go to bed. Next one is in July, maybe by then I'll own some Sunblock, huh?

A letter to a friend..

Dear Emily,
Over the last 40 or so years we've become tight. Like a tiger. And you know, if you weren't there when I hit that retarded cripple, I'd have lost my mind. And when you lost your leg in Nam? That was tough, but we got through it didn't we?
I mean we laugh a lot, and there's jokes. But at the end of the day I just want to thank you. Because I'd have died with out that fraction of your liver, and props for the kidney as well. I hope my Spleen treats you well. And maybe that whole "Glass Eye" Issue wont freak out your next boyfriend so much, huh?
I'll miss you, and if we were the huggin' type I'd be the syrup and you could be my waffle, because you're totally my dick in a box.

Mother Lover,