Lyrical Saturday

"I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn and we are lead to those, who help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return. Well I don't know if I believe that true, but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you...I have been changed for good... In a world may be, we will never meet again, in this lifetime so let me say before we part, so much of me, is made of what I've learned from you, you'll be with me, like a hand print on my heart. And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have re-written mine, by being my friend...."

Wicked Soundtrack
For Good

Never a moment of Peace

I want to comment on my current living arrangements. My roommate is back to normal. Life in this tiny apartment is pleasant. I still hide away in my room, but that has more to do with liking solitude and computer location rather than fear and annoyance.

Downside to this apartment complex? For the last 5 months or so there has been a couple who love to have screaming matches. Every night. It's become my daily guilty pleasure, to sit at the window with a cigarette and listen to the screaming that echos through the complex.
So as much as I enjoy my daily Verbal Soap Opera, I wish late at night she wouldn't stand in the parking lot sobbing, or early morning screaming at him.

Middle of the afternoon is a good time, but thats about it.

So as peaceful as it is in this particular apartment, 2B, the rest of the complex is noisy as hell. But it's only a few more months, and it's kinda become the norm.

Wedding Drama

Hi. Me again. I know, I missed you too. Anyway..

As some of you may have read, I don't speak to my Father's side of the family. I've met them, but I have seen them twice since I was 2 years old. So that's 21 years of no contact at all. Part of it is because my half brother, Pat, is black and my grandma is a racist. Another part of that is because.. Well I'm not sure why.

Now, My dad told me to invite his mom, his three sisters and a few other people. I invited the ones I knew. I also invited his sister Lisa because I was pretty much bullied into it.
My dad has been getting Grief from his mom about me not inviting Julie, my aunt who I have no recollection of.
I threw a fit. I did, I called her and told her "Yes, we're technically family, but these people are strangers." And she's not happy about it.

I have an invitation I changed my mind about and could easily send off to Julie right now, but these people knew where I was. My address hadn't changed since I was 10. so in 13 years a card, a phone call, some sort of effort to be like "Hey, we're family." But instead.. nothing.

And now I'm supposed to invite strangers to my wedding, which has limited space as it is, just because we're related? Uhm. I don't think so.
I want to send the invite just because it keeps teh peace. I don't want to send the invite because I don't know these people and wedding is not a place to get to know me, sorry.

The whole situation is batshit crazy and pissing me off. I wish there was a simple solution to my issue, and I have a feeling I'm just going to cave and send the damn invite to her.
Fuck.

Putting the Labor into Labor day

I moved furniture today. Carried it up stairs, down stairs, shifted everything in my room so it looks and feels different. Whole place looks bigger now. Amazing.

I was going to write about my entire day but it sounded boring and unfunny. Which is was. So I'll spare you the details and just let you know that peppered beef jerky sucks.

50 things about me

1. I learned how to drink on Captain morgan and to this day, years later, it's my drink of choice.
   
2. I've owned two cars in my life. One was free the other I've paid off.
   
3. I have an obsession with books. I want a Kindle, but I have a relationship with books.
   
4. I dance around my room mouthing words into a hairbrush when I'm sad. It cheers me right up.
   
5. Mafia.org is where I met John.
6. I call John Trevikins on Mafia.org
7. It's the mafia and he has the gayest nickname ever from it.
   
8. My parents all contributed from my music taste. Elvis and Country from my mom, Cher from my other Mom and Oldies from my dads.
9. I actually prefer savory over sweet. I don't really like cake that much. Sorry.
   
10. I drive like a crazy person, and talk to the cars infront of me. "Excuse me, Ford Taurus, can you please at least go the speed limit or...GET THE FUCK OFF TEH ROAD?! THANKS....Maybe? No? Damn."
11. I might be secretly greek or Italian with the urge to feed people.
    
12. I only cook when someone else is going to eat it, cooking for myself is gay.
    
13. I am horribly shy. Crowds are a no thank you.
14. I used to love Navy before walmart.
    
15. I still have shoes from 2000. And I love them.
    
16. Im scared of heights, spiders, death, thunderstorms and Semi's.
    
17. The hardest part about moving to England is leaving Alex and Emily. The two people who get really super excited to see me. (Everyone else too, but those two have the best greetings)
18. I love shoes. Seriously. If I didn't have wide feet I'd be broke.
    
19. I used to steal thongs from Charotte russe. My mom would hide them. On my 18th birthday I got a hatbox full of thongs. I still ahve the box adn most of the thongs.
    
20. My mother is my best friend.
    
21. I'm turning into both of my mom's.
    
22. The two people I want to be like in life are My mom and my big sister. Except I don't want to drunkenly break my toliet paper holder. (Heh.)
    
23. Everything makes me cry. Country songs, Commercials, Movies, Sitcoms, books and even comics.
    
24. If I hug you, you're awesome. Thats the general rule of thumb.
    
25. I have always thought I was fat. Since I was about 12. Only now is it true.
    
26. I still sleep with my teddy bear.
    
27. I'm a packrat. I keep everything. I have a gnome I stole from someone's yard when I was 13.
    
28. I regret the friends I've lost.
    
29. I've had a lot of awesome friends.
    
30. I'm horrified that I will never amount to anything. ever.
    
31. I secretly read my little sisters Kid books. And I love them.
    
32. I cried when someone knocked me over in 1st grade and my copy of the Wizard of Oz fell into a puddle. I continued reading, but it was hard.
    
33. I couldn't read like the other kids. I was taken to a specialist at the school, who taught me. I haven't stopped since.
    
34. I have a friend named David who I call "Poodle" and I'm his "Pookie"
35. I blog as an excuse to not write a book.
    
36. I can rap. To songs already on the radio. Not like freestyle.
    
37. Poetry is fun.
    
38. fifty was a really big number.
    
39. I decided to like the color pink freshman year because it was so uncool. It then became cool. I haven't changed my mind.
    
40. My grandma used to serve me cereal with half and half as the milk.
    
41. My grandma always had raisin bread on hand.
    
42. Funerals can apparently be fun.
    
43. I cry at everything but am also emotionally retarded.
    
44. Drinking makes me happy.
    
45. I have to pee.
    
46. Seriously fifty was a stretch.
    
47. I was in Set crew in Highschool but longed for teh spotlight. My stage fright prevented it.
    
48. I love playing volleyball and have a mean overhand serve.
    
49. I hate socks.
    
50. I wad up my toilet paper so I can use more.