Ok, time to talk.

I'm jealous. I read blogs day in and day out, thanks to stumble. I manage to find some I like and bookmark them, checking weekly, some even daily. I see people like EvilBeet make a living off blogging and thrive at it and I get jealous.
I want to write and get paid for it! I want people to hang on my every word and wonder what I'm going to say next. It happens at walmart, but thats only because in a 7 hour day of cashiering I'm pretty much the funniest thing there next to the guy buying the Enema and baby oil.

I need to get back into the habit of writing. I need to start writing constantly, even if I don't feel like it or my idea isn't that good. I'm debating opening another blog just for short stories or writing little tidbits. I normally got my writing out by Mafia.org but now I can't be bothered because the game sucks so bad and the same thing happens time after time.

I wish someone would just knock on my door and tell me I'm brilliant and that they want to publish me. (I wrote punish first, what does that say about my brain?) Frankly, I just want the easy way out. I'm all for writing and writing and writing, it makes me happy. But I'm not ok with the whole "Your writing needs to improve." bit of it. I don't like judgment, not on things that come from my heart.

So my new years Resolution, although a bit late, is to start writing again. Not just writing, but spilling every damn thought that is in my head. Making sure that nothing remains locked inside of me, regardless of how painful it could be to have someone tell me they don't like it.

And the other resolution is to find a fucking writing class online and sign up. I need stimulation, and I need to get back into the swing of things. Because blogging is wonderful, but I'm never going to get a book deal off the shit I Put here.