Adjusting

We've been moving things out, slowly. It hasn't sunk in completely yet. I'm living at Jo-anne's my old manager from Applebees aka my third mother. Which I am ever thankful for.

The hardest part of this is not seeing Jes daily to talk and catch up on the day or playing with that baby and making him laugh.

I wasn't ready to say good bye to both of them yet. And here we are. And it fucking sucks. :(

Edit: No one died, mind you. We're just not living together so I can't see them every day and it makes me sad.

Friendship

Dear Diary,
Today is another day that marks the day that I drive yet another friend away. The weapon? Honesty.
Shame really. I shed a tear (Literally) and I'll be sad since this person has been there for years and I took everything they said to heart, advice, jokes etc. Everything. They were the person I turned too when life got super shitty and John wasn't around.

It's like a part of me is dead. Not a bit part, but a part that made me smile and laugh when I needed it most. The part that had fights with me when I needed someone to knock me off my pedestal when I needed it the most.
So I am upset, but I'll get over it.

If you read this, I wish you the best as I always have. I hope whatever life has in store for you is as amazing and awesome as you are. I'm going to miss our late night talks of nonsense and craziness. But I understand. And maybe in due time...

RIP Little Theo

So a month ago John and I slaved over my fishtank scrubbing it and cleaning and setting it up again. A few weeks ago my Mom, sister and I finally went out and got fish for it. Fancy gold fish. My mom got a Calico Fancy tail gold fish, My sister got a Orange Fancy tail and I got a black Moore.

The last week I noticed Theo, my fish, was floating near the top like his swim bladder was too full and he couldn't stop floating up, struggling to swim down. Yesterday I noticed he had to struggle to stay up, and would sink faster than the other fish. Not to mention his dorsal/top fin was flat against his body signaling stress.

I checked the water last night, all the levels were normal and fine. He was hiding today inside the two pots we have, my mom thinks he was stuck. He was barely swimming, instead just drifting about. I just got home and my mom told me he died.

I love my fish tanks, even if they are a lot of work. But this is the thing I hate, The fact that no matter what you do, how perfect the levels are, the fish can still die with little reason. It's heart breaking and it makes me want to give it up completely. A dog, cat even a child will cry when something is wrong but a fish? You just have to pay attention to it and guess.

So Theo, I'm sorry I was a sucky owner and I'm sorry I couldn't figure it out and help you sooner. I hope you enjoy that big tank in the sky.