Anyone who knows me knows how stubborn I am when it comes to asking for help. I will willingly offer it and bend over backwards for you, but when it comes to myself- no thank you.
This wedding is going to be the perfect example. It's going to kill me, I believe.
I want it to be perfect, like most girls want, but know I'm going to have to sacrifice a few things which I can live with. But when someone offers me help I'm backing away, "no, no I have this. It's cool. Don't worry!" And yet on the inside I'm going "HOLY FUCK."
Invitations, Save the dates and response cards have been approved and paid for. Will be here in a week. Then to ship them to John. Then to pack some boxes and ship those to John. Not to mention hiring a florist, DJ and getting a welcome package done for out of town guests. Coordinating flight arrivals for the Holiday Inn bus to pick up the guests, and making sure they can have the bus for sight seeing in the city or what not.
I need to look into a discount for car rentals for the party, and get a limo for the trip from my mom's house to the hotel. I need go through everything I own and decide what is worth keeping, what is worth shipping and what I honestly don't need anymore.
During all of this, I have to get digital pictures printed on photo paper, get a wedding cake, organize my life in a way that when it comes to move I can say "See ya later, suckers!" And be gone. I need to sell my car, but can't focus on that until I know it's fixed and working. Need to meet with lawyers, find an officiant and ship Sarah's dress to the UK. Have to get tux sizes, taste food, taste cake and figure out my favors.
Not to mention they emailed over the contract papers and my computer lacks Microsoft word, which means it wont open the contract. So I have to go to my mom's when I have a car, and print it out, read it, write a 500 dollar check and drop it off. But for now, it's there but I can't read it. Or agree to it. Or make changes. Or anything. Fuck.
And I assure you that I will try to do this all myself. And I will probably succeed. But right now, when it's all looming over my head, because I'm insane, I'm stressed. Add PSM to the mix and the fact that there is a child screaming in this apartment 20 hours out of the day and Vegas to elope is looking like a great idea.
So long story short, I need to get my shit together or this wedding is going to kill me. It'll be kick ass, but I'll be dead the day after.
Showing posts with label Help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Help. Show all posts
7/27/2009
Rage
I know I haven't heard both sides of the story, I know this. I'm fully aware. But I know my brother, or at least I think I do and the shit she's saying about him only half of it's true.
They're both crap parents. I'm sorry, but they are. They get high, take care of their kid. She strips and takes care of the kid, they let others smoke a bowl infront of their child. Seriously, why are idiots having kids? Shouldn't there be a rule somewhere about idiots not being allowed to fill their uterus'?
It pisses me off that the only solution to any of this is calling DCFS and even then, the chances of that child being placed soon, are slim to none and as my niece who I never see and have no real attachment too (Not like the Niece and Nephew who I adore) other than blood, and concern, I don't want that happening to her.
I'm in a sticky situation and I don't know what to do.
Edit: Figured out what to do. I"m going to stay the fuck out of it. Idiots have and destroy children's lives all the time. Why should this be any different? Selfish children having kids, it's brilliant isn't it? Ah, oh well. Soon enough I'll be gone and none of it will matter to me.
They're both crap parents. I'm sorry, but they are. They get high, take care of their kid. She strips and takes care of the kid, they let others smoke a bowl infront of their child. Seriously, why are idiots having kids? Shouldn't there be a rule somewhere about idiots not being allowed to fill their uterus'?
It pisses me off that the only solution to any of this is calling DCFS and even then, the chances of that child being placed soon, are slim to none and as my niece who I never see and have no real attachment too (Not like the Niece and Nephew who I adore) other than blood, and concern, I don't want that happening to her.
I'm in a sticky situation and I don't know what to do.
Edit: Figured out what to do. I"m going to stay the fuck out of it. Idiots have and destroy children's lives all the time. Why should this be any different? Selfish children having kids, it's brilliant isn't it? Ah, oh well. Soon enough I'll be gone and none of it will matter to me.
3/18/2009
The fog is back
For all of my life I have dealt with my brain. I go from happy to sad in an instant, sometimes for no reason and sometimes because of a badly timed joke.
The last three days have been like this and I feel horrible to everyone who had to put up with my insanity.
There was no just reason for me being upset, and yet I took it out on anyone I could. And at night I would lay in bed, mindlessly clicking the internet hoping to distract myself from my thoughts. My racing thoughts that I could not get under control.
But I am going to figure out some way to get help, from someone. Good lord, I'm pathetic. This would be 100Xs easier if I had insurance.
so much easier. I'd make the appointment tomorrow and find out what the hell is wrong with me.
But until that day, I'm going to figure out what else I can do.
The last three days have been like this and I feel horrible to everyone who had to put up with my insanity.
There was no just reason for me being upset, and yet I took it out on anyone I could. And at night I would lay in bed, mindlessly clicking the internet hoping to distract myself from my thoughts. My racing thoughts that I could not get under control.
But I am going to figure out some way to get help, from someone. Good lord, I'm pathetic. This would be 100Xs easier if I had insurance.
so much easier. I'd make the appointment tomorrow and find out what the hell is wrong with me.
But until that day, I'm going to figure out what else I can do.
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