Truth Vs. Not True


I have been a crappy sister in the past. And I have done more than enough to make up for it.
I have been a shitty daughter in the past, but I have tried and will continue to make up for it.
I have been a shitty friend in the past, but I am re-connecting and making up for it.

That I am a shitty sister, when I try so hard to understand things about you and you go and blame everything on me. Instead of saying what is wrong with US you say everything that is wrong with your life. I can love you unconditionally, but I can't fix the burden you continue to place on my shoulder, and enough is enough. I'm not a shitty sister, so stop blaming your issues on me.

That I am a shitty aunt.
I have four children at the moment who know me as Auntie Jen. There would be a fifth but other reasons prevent it. Those children are my life. The two oldest are the reason I can still laugh and the reason I still try to make something out of myself, to be a good example. And the other two as well, even if they and I are not related. These kids are my reason for doing everything that I do, and being everything that I can be. And making any of them laugh, or smile is the whole reason I haven't given up. So when you sit there and say I'm a shitty aunt, look at who else is involved and question it a bit further. Because there are four kids who look up to me, and laugh with me and are showered with my love and affection..

I am a shitty sister:
I have several siblings who love me. I assumed you were one of them. Lay off the guilt trip, I'm not the person you're fighting. The past is the past, be a man and man up to your mistakes.

I'm a shitty person in general:
Perhaps this is true. But I have people who love me and support me, and for that I am ever thankful. I have people who laugh with me, who joke with me and make me smile. I have people who want to spend time with me, and enjoy it. can you say the same? Probably not. Get over yourself, you're really not that special.

Pat, I love you. But this war you've been fighting your whole life isn't directed at me, Dave or anyone else. You have to grow up and take responsibilities for your actions. And some of them you had, but some of them you're still holding a grudge. We love you, we want what is best for you, and although SOME OF US CANT SAY IT AT TIMES, we do.

I'm your little sister, and I want what is best for you, and maybe I can't fix anything other than your grammar, but know its because I want you to better yourself. It's not because I want to belittle you. And you can think and believe what you want, but I will continue with my battle cry long after you've lost wind.

Because try as you might, I'm far more stubborn than you, and I've always believed you can do better than what you're doing now. That is right, not your but you're As in YOU ARE DESTINED TO BETTER THINGS THAN YOU ARE NOW.

I love you and I'm sorry. But if anyone is going to get through to you, it'll be me. It hasn't happened yet, but it's bound to. Right? I hope so.

1 comment:

Big Jen said...

You are a good sister, daughter and aunt! You are loved and adored. While you dont make the same decisions I would, I am still so proud of you for the things you do take control of and you make it down the right road in your own way on your own time and terms. You have been given/chosen a difficult path to start your life and I believe you are/will succeed in coming out on top! I admire you for the future you are embarking on - something I dont think I could have done at that age but would jump at in a heartbeat at this age. Hang in there sis - sometimes siblings/family can come around and sometimes they need to take their own path no matter how f'ed up it seems. Luv ya sis!!!!