Why am I such a try-hard?

For the last two weeks I have been bending over backwards to make sure the apartment is clean, that I dont wake anyone up and that I generally stay out of the way. Why is this? I pay half the rent and should be able to do whatever the fuck I want, and yet for the most part I walk around like I'm on eggshells or something.

I don't feel like this is "home" yet. I don't snack on food, because even if I paid for it I feel like its not mine. Its helping the weight problem, but not the mentality of "This is my new home." issue. I constantly try to do things so Jes doesn't have too. I discovered the other night, she doesn't do dishes. Interesting. She cooks, and theres plenty of food for us to eat (now that we have a microwave..) but wont do dishes, hmm?

Her boyfriend practically lives here and yet all he does is the dishes and take out the garbage. (Something I hate doing.) Now dont get me wrong, I love Jes to peices. But why am I spending my days off cleaning and sorting things while she spends them getting naked and having a grand ol' time? And I know, Im a bit bitter over it. But when I walk in there is food for me to eat, that she has cooked. But I'm still a wee bit irritated over it.

And last night she told me we should probably get rid of my mini fridge because its the thing using up most of the energy. Seriously? What the fuck am I going to do with a mini fridge other than have it plugged in and full of beverages? I guess its time to put it in storage or you know, find somewhere else to put it, like at my moms (Anyone need a mini fridge?) or something.

I've been toying with the idea of writing a book, although I have no idea what it would be about or how it would go. I'm not sure, but I do know that eventually I'd like to be published on something other than the internet. lol.

Alright, well its almost noon and I still have to eat and get ready for work. Which starts at three (I move very slowly, ok?) so I guess all in all I should really learn to stop bending over backwards to please people who arent mad at me in the first place.

Oh and sidenote: The sun is very bright here and shining on the roof that is covered in snow. Every few minutes it sounds like a body is hitting our balcony and its making me giggle.