1/14/2009

American Idol: Run down

I find it hilarious when the first singer is like "Everyone kept telling me to try out. No one expects this big voice coming out of this tiny body!" And then they start singing and its nothing but utter crap. The interview always fills me with hope that maybe she'll get in and then.. You have tricked me again AI!

The second singer picked a song by Leona Lewis and Co-Written by Simon. Very sneaky and a good good tactic. She was good though, very good. It's astounding how two auditions and we break for commercial. Anyone else notice how Guy Fietti has about 8 gigs on TV now? Good job for him. I do love me some TGI Fridays.

Whats this? David Cook has his own commercial now? But what is it promoting? Other than himself it would appear. Oh perhaps it's promoting American Idol. Oh it would appear that way, now that they have moved into clips of American Idol. He is a good singer, I should download some songs by him or something. Oh yea, "AMERICAN IDOL" Lets not forget what we're watching, not after all of those commercials!

I like this girls dress. I also like her voice a bit, although it does seem rather whiny. Two girls in a row on their way to Hollywood. And greeted by a hoard of screaming girls. Although I really do like her dress. Oh someone is playing the accordion. This guy is has been trained in opera. Thats rather interesting. Almost as interesting as his low cut shirt and his unruly chest hair. :o
Oh god, the man is making a fool of himself. All that training and he's making a fool of himself. I feel embarrassed for him. I'm so glad they hate him and now he's trying again and again. Haha, this is why I love this show.

Oh clip upon clip of of people crying. OH BLACK GIRL FREAKING OUT! That is brilliant. I need to find that on youtube. "Noooooo! Ah...NOOOOOOOO!" Haha. "Later we witness an emotion story..." Because it wouldn't be AI with out one of them each episode! Horrah!

Civic commercial. Who goes to work in a suit but wears grey converse? Like no one is going to notice that? I did! Fail!
Oh look, David Cooks parents are on the show. So lets see who is up next with their Creative "Cook" Spin on songs. Some fat kid singing "Reflection" from Mulan. That was great.
"Can I start over?"
"No." haha, I have yet to hear them say that. Oh cute boy in an interesting hat. Although his insanity is a bit off putting. Von Smith, With a crazy strong voice. I like him. Lets do the hat dance sir, the hat dance of lust!
Oh! another break! At 7:30pm so lets see how long they last! Who is sponsoring today. Flex from ford!

Its a little off putting that every two minutes theres a commercial break, but if you have an over active bladder this show is for you!
Hair commerical. Thats good, you need good hair to be a good singer. God commercials are boring. Can we please stop with them and get back to the funny people? Thank you! OH! Be above the influance! What has weed done for you? Well that kid with the cheetos in his nose looks like he had a blast last night!
Wedding wars makes this commercial 6, oh now seven. And now Eight. This is pathetic. No longer will I be typing during commercial breaks. I dont have 8 minutes to fill the space. Although Fringe is a good show. Not as good as NCIS or CSI but still rather good. Joshua Jackson has come a long way from The Mighty Ducks, thats for sure.

OH AND WE'RE BACK. THANK YOU RYAN!
Will Von Smith get a spot in Hollywood? That would give four Yes' which means he is the new heartthrob I bet. Thats why I watch, I want to see who is going to be the man crush of the year. Although I think this Von Smith is gay.

Can we please talk about Ryan Seacrest and his Lumberjack look today? Plaid is just not his style. I think Jason Castro's brother just admitted he was gay on national tv. "Maybe I do have a secret and I don't even know it!" And then he got a gold ticket. Oh and now a fat cheerleader. For the love of god.. no, dear lord, no. COMMERCIAL TIME!
Its seriously five minutes then 10 minutes of commercials! No wonder this show is 2 hours long for the first two weeks!

"Do you want a banana? Do you want a Banana? Because this Banana is for you!" hahaha, Brilliant! Let him through! Oh and Ryan said "Apealing!" Haha, classic Ryan!
And now a big bald guy, I hope he does well. God he's scary looking. He could kill me with his hands. Oh, Big guy has a voice. Now if he would just shave, because its like a strange clump of pubes on his face.

Kara just agreed with Randy who said no, I don't think she was aware that he had said no. I like her because she calls people out on their shit, but man she's like another Paula with less crazy.
Oh Jesus is it another commercial break? No we're talking about Jazz.

Jasmine is a bit crazy, and a horrible singer. I should try out, which is what I say every year. But alas, I am too shy. She has super yellow teeth. Wow. Haha, she just walked out with out any words spoken by the judges.
Haha someones grandma is on tv going "These are my crazy pills! These are my crazy pills!" Haha, Old people are funny. This Jessica girl has a very powerful voice. She looks like a small town girl with a crazy voice!
Apparently Simon thinks small town girl with big dreams means she stands out. I thought that was all what most of these Kansas people were? I Guess I was confused. My aplogies.
And now, commercial break!

House commercial! Oh he's fun to look at. "You don't have any family do you?" "Nope, left them all back on Krypton!"

And we're back. Oh Big black girl with a tiny black girl. God, put your boobs away before you put someones eye out. And now they are going to rap, I'm ready to lap. Fat girl is out of breath. They dedicated a song about cookies to Randy. And the fat girl cant sing. Skinny black girl is good. "We're not twins" no shit, fat girl could eat the little girl. As a snack.
And now Seacrest is getting humped by some old fat black lady.

Jamar is alright, hitting the right notes but just really loud. Really loud. And he gets into Hollywood. Good, this year they're picking ugly people as well! Oh Danny's heart breaking story is coming up! Right after the 20 minutes of commercials!

Danny's story is this: Four weeks before the audition his wife died. Thats rather upsetting, and he's now trying out to deal with his grief? Or Because people though him can see who his wife was.. Thats noble of him, although silly. (I have no soul.)
Well Danny, can you sing? Yup. You can. Hes a white guy who sings like a black. I'm impressed, and so are the judges.

I enjoy how everyone goes the wrong way, but Danny "I never wanted to be the guy who went the wrong way and I did." hahah, brilliant.
Oh jesus this girl looks like a startled bird and her voice could break glass.
And now theres a girl who is not only horrible but her teeth are something that horror movies should be made about. Fat girl. Correction, fat trailer trash. She has no neck. Haha.
"Anoop Dogg" is up, and has a good voice. Shame he's a complete nerd. Studied barbaque. Ever notice how barbaque looks like its always spelled wrong? "Anoop Dogg is in the house" hahaha. Brilliantly wonderful Randy.

May I just say Anoop dogg has some serious eyebrows. He needs tweezers and some new clothes. Oh who is this girl on my screen. "Its like swimming in jello isnt it?"

I really enjoy how they all pick a song and they all do clips of it and then the whole group sings. They did that last night and its really entertaining. The bad singers get their moment of glory.
OH FAT CHEERLEADER AGAIN! But another commercial!

Which means I will be taking a potty break. Thank goodness it's 10 minutes long because I can shower as well!

Oh Jesus @ Andrew. He's the reason for the fat cheerleader. I don't like him right off the bat. Hes a bit over the top, but overall very good. Even though he's kissing ass. "Can I just say no to all three of you?" Simon, I love you. I really do. "The cheerleaders are crying for you?" Haha, thats brilliant.

Where does a 400lb girl get a cheerleading outfit? Who would agree to sell that to her? They should kill her.
Ok, theres more of this but I'm tired of blogging about it. It's the same shit every five minutes. So, I'm done for now. Any more key points like, if I magically appear on it I'll share.

1 comment:

big jen said...

Ok - so I recorded Idol so I could fast forward the commercials and let me say I pulled open my computer to read your blog along with the auditions and it was funny - OMG too funny and I can't believe the cheerleader actually made it into a split (kinda). Must have more idol blogs... :-)