Lack of sleep, Walmart and Reading Rainbow

I think someone should come over when it's time for me to go to bed and just sit in the corner making sure I'm not doing things. And by things, I mean literally anything. I need someone to stare at me to make sure I'm laying there with my eyes closed instead of laying there reading, eating ice cream maybe even sitting online. It never ends well.

Heres how it works, I find something to do and after an hour or two when it's 12am I'm going "Well 5 hours of sleep isn't enough, might as well just stay up all night." And then...I DO. But every few hours I look at the time and repeat it, changing the amount of sleep I'm not getting. "Well, 2 hours and 24 minutes just isn't going to do. I Can never deal with Walmart people on that amount."

I'm terrified of being late. I Hate it, I'm overly punctuall and I actually will forsake sleep if It means I get to work on time. I'm also very all or nothing when it comes to my sleep. I will sleep 13 hours in the drop of a hat, but 3? NO, thats unheard of. Even my naps turn into mini sleep marathons.
I love sleeping, it's warm, relaxing, great dreams etc etc.

So I really need to start sleeping. I was doing so well until someone threw the 6:30AM shift at me. THANKS GUYS. And then instead of coming home and staying awake like I wanted to, I just passed out. Didn't mean to but it was just so fucking hot in this room, and I was so god damn tired.

So now I'm going to be up all night. On the brightside my dishes will get done and my room will most likely get cleaned. Horrah I suppose?

And another really good reason for why I should sleep is Walmart people/customers are so much easier to deal with when I've had like 17 hours of coma. It's so true, little things don't bother me, I don't get really honest telling customers I hate my job. It works out all around for everything, I think.

Oh. And anyone wanna be my suga daddy and take me book shopping? The reading rainbow is about to die in my room with a lack of books. I will... Uhm... find a midget to service you? Awesome.

Happy Birthday Laeci

My friend from Walmart, Laeci, turned 19 er..yesterday.. and I did what any self respecting 23 year old would do, I got her drunk. When I was 19 I had kids buying for me and celebrating the proper way. We were responsible, I had two drinks and was sober by the time it came to drive them home, but she had a blast. And to me, that is all that matters.

We started off the night with me reading a book and wanting to finish it even though I knew I had to go, so I finally packed it in my purse and headed to applebees for dinner. After dinner Steve showed up, and since he had to work, he was tired and opted out of the drinking. Something to do with a white sox game but since they suck, I didn't pay attention.

We played games, laughed a lot and ended up running around on the playground. May I just say that Fat girl over here raced Laeci and won? Thats right, running. Not Pie eating, or facebook updating, running. And I won. Small victory. Caused Jes to bust out laughing.

Then Steve drove the girls home and I drove the boys home in the boy's car. Steve took me back home and was an absolute sweetheart about it. I owe him some cake, or more vodka. Maybe cake filled with vodka.

Laeci had a great night and so did the rest of us. So Laeci, Manny, Daniel, Amanda and Steve, thank you. <3 You guys rock my world.

Must suck to have such a shitty life

Due to the influx of awesome and heartfelt comments here at Stale Cigarettes and Flat Diet coke, I've had to make it so comments need to be approved by me.
This isn't because I can't handle a fat comment, or an insult to my intelligence by a lesser human, it's because I'm tired of the nameless asshats doing it. Put a name on it, your real one, and I might change it. Until then your bitchiness gets no air time here.

So it's like 4am and I'm wide awake. I'm half tempted to go for a walk, to go get smokes or breakfast or just some fresh air. But I also know I need to clean and sort through my laundry and get a head start on tomorrow. So much to do, so little time.
At some point I need to get my laundry done, but its so damn hard when Jes is constantly doing hers, you know, with a baby and all.

And as long as I dont run out of navy and Khaki I'm fine with it. And frankly even if I do, I'll wear smelly clothes since I care that little about my job.

John doesn't sleep because he's worried about me and the wedding and everything else that goes on in his brain. I don't sleep because theres so much to do, not only with the wedding, but have you been on youtube lately? They have millions of funny videos to watch! WHO KNEW?! I thought it was just the place to see music videos, like the old MTV. Boy howdy, I was wrong.

So whats up for tomorrow? Lets see, wake up and clean my room incase I have company tomorrow night. Then I have to go to my moms and head to Holiday Inn to sign the contract and give my deposit. Then Off to meet the photographer for coffee @ Starbucks. After that I need to call around and find an officiant. After thats done, Get Laeci, Becky maybe Steve and head to Applebees for dinner. Then back to mine for hilarity then...OFF TO THE FAIR!

God I miss having a social life. Lets hope I can behave like a normal person, and not the Boyd we know I am.
Speaking of Boyd's my brother is trying to find a job, kudos to him. And my father? well he hates his job.
He has so many kind things to say about his granddaughter, but her mother he couldn't care less about. It amazes me. I told him, "She doesn't want us in her life, so be it. She can be selfish and ungrateful and a cunt. We don't need to bother ourselves with it, she made her choice she can explain it to the kid in 17 years. Not us, her."
He agreed. Said it was probably for the best, since Pat's done with her dumb ass, we should be as well. Just a shame the child is missing out on a lot of love due to her mother's own ignorance.

Anywho, I'm going to go for that walk, because it's only 4am and everyone knows all the rapists and murders go to bed at 3am!

Parents who shop at Walmart

Yesterday was "Unwed mothers of several" day and today is "Child abuse" day. Seriously, day in and day out I watch parents scream at their kids, ignore their kids of say shit to their kids that makes me want to punch them. Today some lady told her kid to shut up and then when he was still talking she looked at him "Why are you still talking, I said shut your damn mouth!" Honestly, the kid is five, what the hell is wrong with you?

The worst thing I have ever seen in regards to this was from today, it made me want to cry and then throw down my badge, call the cops and walk outside to beat the shit out of this father. His daughter had walked to the jewelry display, she's about 6 or so, and he goes to grab the back of her dress, not her hand, her dress. And she starts screaming. She's crying and screaming as I check them out, and as she turns to walk out the door I see the nail scratches down her back, some red from blood.

Seriously? What the fuck is wrong with you. Why couldn't you reach for her arm? Her hand? Hell, apologize for that shit. Accidents happen, but the force that he grabbed her with? There was proof. Horrifying, and I swear to god if I ever see him out side of work, he better hope I'm not lugging around my 20lb purse because I'll make him scream and cry just like he did to his daughter.

And I hate that I have to stand there, smile at them and thank them for coming in. Instead of saying whats really on my mind, these people get away with it, because I have to do my fucking job. It's fucking bullshit. Absolute bullshit. People fucking disgust me. Just when I thought I couldn't be more irritated with the general population, someone has to go and prove me fucking wrong. Thanks.

Serious blog time

One thing I never really noticed until I got this job at Walmart is how many single mothers there are. And not even like "Divorced" women, more like girls younger than me with 2-3 kids already. Seriously, when did the Crystal Lake area turn into the ghetto of Chicago?

I had a girl the other day who was my age, with four children. Of course she was on food stamps. Everyone is on food stamps. But even after the food stamps she had to put things back, because she bought way too much makeup for her to afford. Not even things for the kids. No, makeup.

I've made it a habit now, and only realized yesterday that I do this, to check the hands of young women with children. Most of them don't have rings. It irritates me to no end that instead of kids having kids being a bad thing, kids having kids is becoming almost like the norm.

And don't think I am not happy that our state has programs to help the women, but it seems like because of these programs more and more girls are being less careful because they can get on food stamps, or have wic. (Coupons for food, baby forumla etc.) Besides, Link pays for my food as well, since Jes is on it.

But it just irritates me. Seriously. And the people who buy nothing but crap food anyway, that irritates me as well. The thing that gets me the most are the women who come through the line with their nails all nice, good clothes, designer bags and they're on food stamps. Seriously?

I don't know their lives, I only get what they present at the walmart check out, but still...
Really? you're 20, have two kids and instead of having money to pay for your things, your mom has to pay for you and you're going on a trip tomorrow? wtf.

Seriously, either get on some birth control women, or close your fucking legs. Accidents only happen once. after the second it's clearly your own damn fault.
Nifty fact: I sell more Pregnancy tests than I do boxes of condoms.

Hold the wheel, I have to jack this fucker in the face

Today was a shit-tacular day. Seriously. I woke up, I was happy and ready to go to work. I was determined to have a good day.
And then some dumb bitch ruined it all.

Paula, this moron who I hate, called to get a price check. After about 10 minutes of no help/response/whatever she gave up and the customer left. The phone started ringing. Non-stop for 10 minutes. I finally answered it and the lady on the other end was like "Hey, just let her know next time to call us back, or pick up the phone and inform us the customer left." And I was all "Sure thang, no problem." And then told Paula this.

Paula's new customer (Not the one with the price check) stomps over to me and goes, "I WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD HER NOT TO ANSWER THAT PHONE. I'VE BEEN WAITING IN LINE FOR TEN MINUTES." And I nodded, apologized and resumed working. Then her daughter started walking to customer service, to tattle on my "rudeness" and at that moment Crystal, who is behind me, goes "Hey Jen! Do you know who's cart that is?" And the lady LOOKS at me, goes "Oh your name's Jen is it?" (No shit Lady, I'm WEARING A NAMETAG.) And then grins and claps her hands like she's won a fucking prize.

The customer I was helping and the one after offered to stay and let my managers know I did nothing wrong. But I told them not to worry about it, all I'd be losing is a job I hated.

Dani turns my light off and I get pulled into the cash office with Manager Mike and her. I ignore Mike, because either way he's a grade A douche bag. I explain to Dani what happened and really just wanted to add, "Look, if I was going to be rude to her knowing I'd lose my job, don't you think I'd have really thrown a fit? Punched her in the face? Screamed at her for being a miserable human being?" But no. Instead I was nice, polite and got in trouble for nothing.

And the best part of the whole thing is the fact that I was upset that they DIDN'T fire me. Damn.

Then Kay yelled at me, but I got to go home eventually where I read a book and my day has gotten a lot better. Yes.

So yay for Walmart, I guess?

And theres that silver lining...

Yesterday sucked. Seriously. I asked for break at 4:50 when I was supposed to get it, but Linda was stressed and freaked out a bit at me, so I backed off and went to my register. There were two other CSMs there who are completely useless. So I waited. I wanted to see how long it would take to get my break.
Watched Beth go to the clipboard and study it for 5 minutes on numerous occasions and then walk away. Sarah and I both needed our breaks, we were laughing at her by the end of it. So in the end it took another hour to get a break. I told Linda who finally walked over going "Did you go on break?" "Nope.""Shit girl, go!" "Nah, waiting til 45 after, then at 6 I'll go to the meeting and then lunch." She nodded, "Ok."

So I went on break at 5:45 and as I'm outside telling John the joys of walmart a car pulls in that looks a LOT like my car. "Is...Is that my car? With my Daddy inside it?" And I ask this about 50 times, but the car looks far to clean to be mine. But I run over there and go, "It is! It is my daddy inside my car!"

And then my dad tells me how the story of his daughter being stranded in Woodstock, and how he and mom are driving back and forth to take me to work and how I'm trying to plan a wedding and such, had passed through the garage and the mechanics decided to stay late Thursday night, and then Friday morning when the owner got there two of his men were waiting for him so they could finish working on it.
I owe them a HUGE thank you card. Because that is hands down the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

So I have a car! I do! I do! I do! I do!

The meeting was a joke, which was expected. I didn't clock out for lunch until 6:57 and managed to come back at 7:51 and as I'm walking to my register Beth, the idiot she is, goes "You're late from lunch Jennifer" in that condescending tone she has that makes me want to punch her.
Uhm, no, I'm not late. But good try peeps. Really good try.
And then I had an issue with someones credit card and she came over acting like it was a huge inconvenience to her, causing the customers to go "Wow, isn't she just happy. So sorry to bother her." And I told them about what happened earlier. I hope they call in.
And later my pin pad broke so the touch screen wouldn't work, and Beth acted as if I had done something wrong. "Oh, well you go to fast and these things happen." No Beth, I'm not swiping the card wrong you idiot, its BROKEN. Jesus. What a fucking moron.

Then I went on break and after break stood around for 20 minutes waiting for an unbroken register. While instead of doing her job Beth was standing in customer service babbling away to someone about something no one gives a shit about.

Long story short, I fucking hate Beth. She can't do her job, and she's rude about it.
Short story of happiness, YAY I HAVE MY CAR BACK!

Lack of car, bullshit rules and tornados

Trust me, the tornado is not a metaphor. I mean a real, rip the fuck out of your town, tornado. Apparently one touched down in Harvard, about 30 minutes from my apartment. FUCK DUDE. And there were funnel cloud sightings all over the place. HOLY SHIT.
But I was tucked away safely in Walmart. And by tucked away I mean standing at my register going "Did you hear we're getting tornados?!" And they'd grab their shit and go, "holy fuck! I need to go home now! Save the Hoho's kids! Grab the link card! Back to the ghetto we go!" or something like that.
No one I know was hurt. Or died. Or was effected, minus a few mini heart attacks I'm sure. But we're cool. Apartment still standing. It's sunny like God is all "Sorry Ya'll, but We know how much you hate that redneck town, harvard. After two tornados bitches STILL standing." It's ok God, we forgive you.

Speaking of walmart, I hate my job. Like before I hated it, but whatever it was a job. Now Its like "WHY MUST I WORK!?!" I got yelled at for doing my job yesterday, and emptying my hanger bin. Note to self: Don't do that shit again. NO CLEANING APPARENTLY.
So whatever. I'm down with that.
I get yelled at a lot. But whatever, it's walmart. And only like 120 something days til I can quit that shit and say "LATER SUKKA!" which would rock.

And for the lack of car- My mom is driving me to and from work now. Which is dandy, quality time she's a saint for doing it etc etc.
BUT FUCK I MISS MY CAR. I miss blasting my music, singing at the top of my lungs, chain smoking and flipping off old people. But no, Until Monday I have no car, which means until Monday I'm really sad.
My car is my freeeeeeeeeedom. My car is my transportation. My car is my baby :( And my baby is sick. And missing an engine. And sick. And going to cost a few grand to fix. MY BABY IS BROKED.

Fuck. It's like 10:30 Am. This is what I'm like when I get sleep. Sorry guys. I'm a bit...er..Awake for once. :/

So let's recap. My car is broken,but not because of the tornado that hit Harvard. We're all hating walmart and secretly wish the tornado or broken car, had hit that instead.

Did I cover it all? I believe so.

Mmmm Hot Pockets

There is no bacon in this house, which is distressing. But thats not what I'm here to write about. This entry is about Hot Pockets. And how to a group of employees at Walmart, it became a cry of FREEDOM. Or was just used to lift boredom.

BACKGROUND: I bought lean pockets, chicken and spinach I believe, for lunch and took them in back to make them. As they were cooking, I ripped off Jim Gaffigan, with his "HOT POCKET" in a high pitched voice.
Then Courtney threw a fit about them not being hot pockets, but lean pockets. So I was going "Lean pocket?" in a high pitched voice. And then when I took a bite and the gooey delicious magma tried to kill me with it's heat, I covered my mouth with my hand and cried out, "HOT POCKET" as high pitched as before.

And thus, the monster had been created.

We were dead. Which gave me ample time to call to lawn and garden where not only Courtney was, but Rod as well. When they would pick up I'd call out "Hot pocket!" I wanted to "Do a price check on "HOT POCKET" But also didn't want to get fired.

Becky, who works in toys, came by with a cart and I ninja'd my way towards her. I Hopped on, calling out "HOT POCKET!" as my battle cry. I hot pocket'd my way towards Bethany, making her laugh as I'd peek out from behind pop coolers, and other things that are bigger than me.
I hot pocket'd Laeci, wrapping my arms around her for a hug, but sneakily opening her doritos while she was talking and stealing one, leaving with a simple "Hot Pocket!" before shoving it in my mouth and running away.

So thanks HOT POCKET for hours of amusement @ work.
EDIT: to add said Video I ripped off.

Hot Pocketts by Jim Gaffigan
Uploaded by Alimoe8 - See more comedy videos.

The last two days

The last two days have been really strange. My mind is boggled by somethings, and apparently I caught pig flu some how and spent the day not only at work with no sleep, but after leaving early puked all night. It was a good time.

Sometimes my brain confuses me, but I'm sure in due time the tangle of thoughts will work themselves out.
This is my 200th blog post. I don't know what to do with it. I was hoping for something epic and lovely but instead I leave you with the conversation I had with my manager over letting me go home early.

Me: Mina, I don't feel good. I think I'm going to puke. I need to go home.
Mina: What? We have bathrooms.
Me: Im not getting down on the walmart bathroom floor, I'd rather puke right here in front of everyone and when they as why I will tell them its because you wouldn't let me go home.
Mina: Oh. Go home, yes.

So long story short, I came home ill. And I just cleaned a bit using these Pledge Multi Surface wipes that I adore, and yet their allergen trappers fail, because I just sneezed like 8 times.

So a bit of my room was cleaned. Now if I can get the rest of it done. AND SUNDAY IS RIBS AT MY MOMMYS HOUSE!

We get it, the economy is down

So everyone thought Walmart was untouchable, that they weren't going anywhere huh?
WRONG. I can't say we're going anywhere, but I can say that with the opening of a brand new store 5-10 minutes away from ours, business has bombed out. And it will probably stay that way until we have grocery and produce as well.

And because the store is not making any profit, what with lack of business and renovations going on, everyones hours have been cut. There are some of us who have steadily been losing hours since after Christmas, like me. And then there are those who were part of the massive Red Xing on the schedule.

Management decided that everyone who is fulltime will lose two 8 hour shifts in two weeks. Part time is to lose two four hour shifts in a span of two weeks.
Someone explain to me how I managed to lose 11 as a part timer?

My hours were already crap, I went from 33 hours a week which payed the bills and rent and now I am down to 23 one week (With the cut) and 22 the other (With the cut)
So you have already chopped my hours, and yet you're going to cut them again when some people are still working 40 hours a week no problem?

Its time for a change. And that change is getting me the fuck out of Walmart.

The New-ish Girl

I have found someone far more irritating than Amanda at work. I didn't think it was possible, but it has happened. There is this woman, who has worked for walmart for five years, and she was transferred to our store. She is loud, when she gets on the paging system she screams. "I NEED A CSM TO DIAL 116!" It's so loud you flinch when you hear it.

She does not shut up. Yesterday I started writing down my schedule in the back and she was talking to me about her hours. "I used to work 48-60 hours a week and now I'm down to 20 something."
I just stared at her, because I knew she was lying. No way walmart was going to pay that much in overtime. Not a chance. After I clock in she's cornered a manager and is complaining about how few hours she has, "You counted 36 hours, but you want more? Thats fulltime by Walmart standards." is the last thing I heard the manager say before I quickly walked away.

Up front she cornered Lois, the head Cashier who makes the schedule. I didn't care enough to listen in on that conversation.
And so the day begain. She started telling us she'd work 7 days a week, even though it's against the law. How she could CSM, do the Customer Service desk and all this other shit. We basically all rolled our eyes at her and wandered off.
It may have been the most productive day for some of us, because we were constantly finding things to do so we wouldn't have to talk to her.

Even if we called her out on her lies, like the 7 days a week, she refused to contract her statement. So we gave up.
Kay was telling me how she was going to let that girl and me share a register, because we were BFF. I don't know where Kay got her sense of humor from, but I def. don't hate her anymore. Which is a good thing.

The only other real high points in the night were Kaitlyn coming over bitching about Linda not IDing people for smokes. I flat out told her, "Either tell a CSM or Manager and have something done about it or Shut the fuck up. There is no good in complaining about it." and she did. She shut the fuck up and I didn't see her again the rest of the night.

I learned quickly that if I don't like the way something is being done, I take it to a csm, I point it out and it's up to them to handle it. If someone is too good to redline, then so be it. But at least I pointed it out. And I will continue to point shit like that out. Because I'm nice like that.

Also some kids came in and wanted to film me and the guy having a fight. That was akward and strange. He was suposed to yell at me, but I think he thought I was going to kick his ass. LOL poor guy.

OH AND I HAVE A STALKER NAMED MIKE!
This guy came in LAST Friday and we were talking about pay, and how much I make. Turns out he called in the next day and wanted my name. They don't give out information like that, thank god. Well he was in again last night, stopped me while I was on my break and asked me my name and then said "Oh Hi. I'm Mike. I'll be in here next week at the same time." Next week I only work til 6pm so I'm hoping same time means 8pm so I will be LONG Gone.

Fucking Weirdos.

Work Stories

So on the 24th I went to work on no sleep. I took a sleeping pill when I got home at 10pm but then Jes had to go to the ER because her throat was swollen. I was babysitting. Since I don't wake up when the baby cries normally, I knew I wouldn't on a sleeping pill.
So I stayed up till Jes got home at nearly 3am. Knowing it would be pointless to sleep 2 hours and then go to work, I called Emily and we headed off to Denny's for breakfast.

Fast forward.

I get to work and I'm fine. I have enough coffee and red bull in me to run a village. Enter customer #1. He's buying Nicotine gum and something else. he swipes his card and puts it away faster than you can say "Walmart" after a second it asks to verify his signatures, so I ask for a photo id and the card he used.
He throws a fit, "Why couldn't you have asked when I had it out."
"Well sir, it prompts me, and I have no idea when it is going to ask."
"This is why I never shop here anymore."
"So sorry sir, *Hands receipt* have a nice afternoon" (note it's like 8am at this point.)

He walks away till he's about 10-15 ft away and goes, "*grumble* It's still MORNING!"

I wanted to say, "Fine, have a good morning but a shitty ass afternoon, buddy!" but then I didn't want to loose my job.
I went about in my day.

Customer number two was a couple, about 50-60 and they had a visa giftcard that you have to run like a credit card. With these, if it's less than the total bill you have to know exactly what is on it or it will decline it.

"Ma'am, how much is left on the card."
"oh, I don't know...30?"
"Ok." So I punch in "30 Credit" and she slides the card.
It goes through and I go, "alright, it took thirty off your remaining balance is..."
"what? You only put in thirty? Well now I have to carry this stupid card around, and what good are you?"
"...."
Her husband breaks in, "I'll carry the card." at this point he has slid his card and while I'm apologizing to the woman he barks, "Press the credit key." and I do.

Part of me wanted to say, "Look lady, if there was 32.75 left on it you'd still have to carry the damn card around!" But I didn't.

Later, I was in the breakroom enjoying my lunch of air when Amanda, the talkative idiot comes to sit by me. She's babbling about something and mentions the thuder storm we had last summer. "yea, I was talking to my cousin on the mic and the power went out and I said, "Hello... Are you there?" and he said "Yea..."
And of course I went, "If your power was out how was your computer and internet still on?"
She had to think about it, after blushing. So note to self don't listen to a damn word she says.

I'm sure theres more, but I'm so tired that I can't think straight. I've started carrying a note pad with me so I can write down crazy incounters at work, because it's far more interesting than my actual life. Thank god tomorrow I'm off because if I have one more day of stupidity I might just kill people.

Assholes

Yesterday I had a family come through my line. As the woman was paying the man said to his daughter,
"Only stupid people work at walmart. That right there is the face of someone who didn't go to college."

We're all very lucky I didn't shove my hand scanner up anyones ass, because boy howdy was I tempted too.

My Apartment

I don't like it here. I'm back to walking on eggshells and I don't know why. I hide away in my room and I hate the fact that Joey is out of jail. I don't want him here. Thankfully he hasn't been here other than the night he got out.
I don't like it. I want it all to change. Maybe it's me though.

On another note, I should have just gone to my sisters tonight instead of out with the Walmart girls. It sucked more than a hoover. Seriously, there was not enough tequila to make the conversation interesting. Shame.

Walmart Shoppers

I am so sick of my job. Every day it is just more crap shoveled on top of the crap that I've dealt with for the last few months. I keep thinking that the customers are going to get smarter, that they will be less crabby, but I am so wrong.
Common occurrence is customers slide their debit card, informing me it's credit. They don't tell me it's a debit card so I hit the credit key and wait. They stare at me and then go, "Well, are you going to hit the button?" not knowing I already did.
"What does the screen say?" I will ask them.
"Key pin, but I Don't want to use my pin."
"Hit cancel, select credit." and then I sigh. This happens dozens of times a day. Dozens. And each time it makes me want to curl up in a ball and forget I have a job.

Just because I work at walmart, it does not mean I am stupid. It means the economy sucks and I needed a job. Stop judging the person behind the register.

Also, if your kid is screaming, do not leave it in the cart while you go look for something. This happened yesterday, and I was about to walk over and shut the damn kid up myself. This is why if you're going to go shopping with kids, take both parents. That way if one is not behaving you can get them the hell out of the store. No one, and I mean no one, wants to listen to them scream. I don't care how fucking cute they are.

We get that easter is just around the corner. We get that your kids are still lied too about the easter bunny. But why should I put four items in a large bag and then double bag it for you? Why should you be so demanding? More importantly, where the fuck did your manners go? I understand that I'm paid to help you, but aren't you as a human with emotions and a brain supposed to know that manners get you every where?

I had a lady the other night who had a massive order, just massive. And I started ringing up her items and she barked, "No, Wait. I want to watch the prices."
So I calmly said ok and pulled the items out of the bag and voided them so she could see. I thought all was well until her mother started moving things from bag to bag, and double bagging and bitching about how I can't do my job right.
Heres a hint folks: The way you put it on the belt is going to be the way it goes into the bag. I'm not going to reach on my tippy toes for the package of hotdogs to keep with the cold stuff.
We try, we all do. To keep Chemicals with Chemicals, Cold with cold and food with food. But if you have shit thrown up there in a strange mixture we're just going to bag.

After it was all said and done, and she had paid the woman complained to someone about me. I gave her attitude apparently and did a shitty job.
I was unaware that you could do a shitty job at scanning items and throwing them in a bag. Who knew?

As for the attitude part, I'm not going to be a fucking rose after I hear how crap I am at my job. I'm going to continue being crap and since you're already fixing my mistakes I'm going to try to make it even worse for you.

One final note on Walmart if you are rude, mean or just plain ignorant I have been known to reach down while putting the bread in the bag and squish it.
Keep that in mind next time you go through someones line. We all have feelings and the majority of the time that person behind the register hates her job, wishes she could go back to whatever she was doing before the economy tanked out and get a bit of respect. So for the love of god, say hi to her, smile at her, and thank her.
That is all we ask. That and maybe learn how to fucking work the credit card thing.

Welcome to Walmart

Yesterday was a semi decent day. Made some coffee and sat around drinking it. Unlike today, of course.
Yesterday was also Little Miss. Emily's Birthday. HAPPY THIRD BIRTHDAY PRINCESS.

I get to work and for the first four hours the cashiers played tag. Which you would think would be easy, but with customers to help and having everyone at different registers, it wasn't. Although I must admit it was a hilarious time.

After lunch I talked to Josh and he said as long as Mike had no other reasons for not letting me take the time off in June, other than I'm new and the grand re-opening then I can have it. Horrah!
Then I took the Customer Service Manager test and passed! So hopefully soon I will be getting a promotion of some sort.

And finally, they let me go home early. Rock on!

Thanks Poodle.

David came over last night. Till about 3:50am. I had a blast. I missed him so much!
Today I work 830am to 430pm.
Do you know how much sleep I got? Last I checked it was something like 5am.
Aahahahahaahahaha.

Someone kill me please?

Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday

Its been a few days since I've updated. I'm sorry, but I've actually been busy. And yesterday I just didn't feel like writing. So be ready for a blog of epic proportions!

I woke up Friday at 6:15. I knew I was going to be late for work, I had to be there at 7am. So with out any coffee in me I make it downstairs to start my car and let it heat up a bit before I race off towards walmart.
Small problem though. The key to my car is not working. Oh no. John is on the phone. I'm pissed off. Theres no way for me to get in my car. I'm livid. I'm screaming.
I shake my hand to get my coat sleeve over it because I'm freezing and my engagement ring flies off of it. I can hear it bounce in the parking. I'm freaking out more.

Picture me, half asleep, on the phone and down on her knees peering under cars for this ring. I was not a happy girl. I finally find it, it was not in the area I thought it was, which was upsetting. But I found it undamaged.

I manage to pull my rear back door open, the one that never locks, and climb into my car from there. I start the car and realize, "Oh shit, the windshield is frozen over." but instead of climbing out and scraping it? I just sat there. I called work to tell them I was not going to be on time, but no one answered.
I called again when I got to the gas station to crawl out and get deicer, but they didn't answer again. The deicer? Didn't work. My car door was fucked.

So I get to work, crawling out via the back seat. I have people staring at me now. But I suck it up and deal with it.
The day goes on, it wasn't horrible. Wasn't star stunningly brilliant either, but thats life.
I ended up being 40 minutes late. But no one said a word to me. not one person.
I was impressed.

On the way home, after my manager saw me crawl into my car from the opposite side and drive off. I Call my mom and she told me to go get it fixed. Always one to pretend to take my mothers advice I thought I would switch it up this time and actually take it.

This is the exchange that happened at the dealer.
"So who can I help?" the man says.
"Oh! Me! Pick me!" I squeal.
"Yes?" He said
"My car is broken!" I announce like I won something for this.

I then proceeded to rattle off about 50 things wrong with it that I want them to fix. But I Forgot to tell them to fix the very cracked back bumper. I am stupid.

So I am now stranded at the chevy place, with my giant pink purse, a cell phone and a mop. Yes, I had a mop with me. I called enterprise because they do "Under 25 car rentals." and basically verbally sucked "Luke's" dick to get this car.

"Ok, do you have a major Credit card?" "Nope. I have a debit!" "Do you have a paycheck stub and a copy of your utility bill?" "Nope! I have my lease though! And a mop." "Yea, we don't borrow cars to people with out.." "Oh come on Luke, you're breaking my heart. YOu sound like a nice guy, do you really want me stranded here for hours on end while I wait for someone to come get me? What if they never get me, huh luke? I can't sleep here. I have to go home and sleep. Please luke.."

Needless to say, I got the car. I got home and I just passed out. I was so tired. Woke up the next day at 6am. I didn't have to be at work till 8. Thankfully, I was on time.

Sunday was the longest day of my life. LONGEST OF MY LIFE. See, Saturday night Emily and I got drunk. Because I wanted too. After I dropped Emily off at her house, I ended up babbling to my neighbor for an hour about Jes and Joey and everything that was wrong in the world.
I am a chatty drunk. A chatty and honest drunk.

Turns out Jessica heard everything I said. And she was very hurt. Boy howdy did I feel like an ass! I apologized time and time again, wishing there was a magical way to make it better. I almost cried at seeing her almost cry.
Foot in mouth along with ankle, calf, knee and thigh. CHOKE ON IT JEN!

But yesterday! Yesterday was a wonderful day. I got some cleaning done, I read the rest of my book. I had dinner at my mommies house. And I became a library card totin' citizen of Woodstock, IL. Oh yes. I plan on going back to the magical library and wandering for hours on end until I have a stack of books I can hardly carry. I had that last night, but most of them were non-fiction so they weren't really interesting.

But I am going to learn to Knit today! And after I pick up my car from the dealer I plan on driving out to my dads, hopefully if it's not done too late. :D
Yay for my life!

The rest of the recap! Horrah!

Sorry, I was going to do it last night but since it snowed here the drive home took me two hours instead of one. I was tired as fuck afterwards, but as promised I have an update for you with kitties! Horrah!

So Sunday I worked, I'm not sure how long or what I did exactly but I know I worked. I recall it not being that much fun to start with. But it got better, like when I got to go home.

Saturday we woke up at the ass crack of dawn to drive to my sisters house. Alex had his annual doctors checkup and I got the pleasure of babysitting Miss. Emily which was a riot. You know, with my two hour nap and all.

We started off the day by watching Madagascar 2. Emily was not awake yet and as you can see in the picture thrilled to bits for me to be there. "Mother, I will scream at you a thousand times for this torture!" is the caption I have given this picture. Poor girl was quite the sport at 7am.

So Madagascar was finished and Emily wanted to play dress up. John for some horrible reason (I think he hates children, to be honest) REFUSED THIS ADORABLE LITTLE GIRL!!!!

How dare he not put on a tiara and prance around having tea parties! Come now! He's excellent at them, he is British!

Emily decided that princesses do not wear pull ups and promptly sat down to change. This picture was just too cute not to share with the world. LOL.

I suggested that instead of me playing princess (Really enjoying sitting at 8am) I would be the photo person and she could have a fashion shoot. She loved the idea and started to pose.

Only problem with that is sometimes even princesses get distracted by whats on the TV....

Emily then realized she had no crown or tiara on and ran upstairs. We heard her talking to something/Someone and I called up to her, "OH! I'm Playing up here!" she yelled back. Adorable really. And then she graced us all with the entrance to end all entrances. I should take some pointers from her, honestly. She has this happy princess thing down pat.
We played princess for another half an hour or so, until she grew bored of it and then decided she had had enough.

She took off the dress and the tiara and came to sit on the couch with me. I was not done taking pictures though. She went with the "Ignore her and maybe she will go away" tactic. And boy howdy it worked. When she did not pay attention to me, I put the camera away. Smart girl, this one. She's also sitting behind my legs because I think she was cold. The poor girl. Life of a princess is very hard.
After we left my sisters house we headed off to do somethings. All of which I can't remember. I think it involved shopping for the ingredients to make lasagna and also to the pet place to see the...KITTIES!

And because John is sitting behind me and very hungry, I'm going to upload the pictures of the cats and call it a day.
The lone cat is Betsy, the one I want to adopt and bring home with me. The second one... Well its Kitty Heaven of course!