Allow me a minute to rant.

Look, I know giving up is supposed to be difficult, and I know it's not easy otherwise more and more people would quit each day. I know it's something you have to work at and really want in order to get to the end goal of being smoke free. But I bet all these fuckers who tell you this have either never smoked or when they quit they got to fucking use patches. Right? Right.

I haven't smoked in 5.5 days. In Jen time thats about 170 some odd cigarettes. Which is wonderful.
For 2.5 of those days I've been with out patches. WITH OUT PATCHES.

The first three days I had some discomfort with the patches, some aches and just ignored them. Determined to quit. The third day, I laid on my arm and almost started crying because the joint pain was just unbelievable.We pulled the patch off. I slept for a few hours, still sore when I woke up. Figured we'd do with out the patch that day, let some of the nicotine out of my system.. see what happens.

Yesterday I put a patch on my forearm and not 10 minutes afterwards I see this...



Yeah. Red, blotchy, that bruise right about the word "Right" is from the patch. Awesome no? So I took that patch off. So now I'm trying really fucking hard not to march to the shop to buy a pack of cigarettes to hell with my lungs.

Make matters worse, John's about to go on night shifts so I'll have 4 days of nothing but myself to keep me occupied. Awesome. I see this as just one more step towards failure! Horrah!.

Someone get me a cigarette, I can't handle this shit anymore.