Are those Necco Waffers?

Its hard to imagine that emotionless me can get choked up, praying, begging and crossing fingers at two characters kissing after a whole season of teasing torment.
If only writers could hear my thoughts and play out my deepest desires when it comes to their puppets. Er.. Characters.

Yes.

Contemplation: The thing that destroys you.

So I'm sitting out on my balcony. I'm wearing thin PJ pants that go a bit past my knees, slippers and a hoody. It's probably 30-40 degrees outside and yet I'm perfectly fine.
It springs to mind that a year ago I was not where I was today and four years ago I didn't have the slightest clue I would be here.

Interestingly enough, my thoughts four years ago were based roughly on steak N' Shake and who would be there that night. And quite possibly wondering if there was going to be drinking. I don't remember who I was dating, or what anyone was talking about. I do remember this sense of belonging.
Steak N' Shake holds some of the best memories of my life. From Spades to Egyptian Rat Screw, 7 Degrees of Kevin Bacon, Sims, Harry Potter, Cigarettes, Poker and every conversation in between. I can honestly say that four years ago I thought the group of us was going to be friends forever.

A lot of us have lost touch over the years. Some due to jobs, school, or just other things that got in the way. The day Steak N' Shake went non smoking is the day I essentially lost my friends.
We gathered one last time, stood outside in the freezing cold. Trying hard to pretend things were going to be the same, but we all knew it wasn't going to happen.
We got together for parties, and at those parties there were drugs. Thats when I pulled myself out and distanced myself from them. I don't care what other people do, I will voice my thoughts on the issue and then drop it.
Your body, your choice.

But I wasn't going to be put into a situation like that. Don't get me wrong, I've smoked pot a time or two, but its nothing special. Maybe I was doing it wrong, maybe I just didn't want to be like them.
But there is always that thought now and again, when a friend finds me on facebook, or I see them roaming through walmart..
What would have been if we were still friends? Would we still be as close? Would we still laugh like we did and cause havoc where ever we went?

Would I have strived so hard to make friends at Applebees? Would I be living where I am now? As happy as I am now?

Its all interesting to me, curious really, how years later people who forgot me as quickly as I forgot them can surface in my memory in an instant. And how after four years a part of me still longs to be the girl I was. Technorati Tags: Steak N Shake, Friends, time, Laughter, Life

Emily Says..

"Ow. I think I sprained an ovary."

You know, I wasn't sure if it was possible. But now we all know. Careful with your ovaries ladies. (Almost said folks, but no folk has one.) Technorati Tags: Emily, Ovaries, Humor

Sup, Blog Readers!

I'm chillin' on the couch with Emily! Horrah for that, eh?
Yup. Canadian now. Only when on the couch though.

Morning Sunshine!

Sorry guys, I thought when I changed the Ads yesterday I made it so the banner would go NEXT to the blog. I was wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. So I have learned that whenever I change something I should click that magical little "Preview button." Yes.

Yesterday was a good day, which shocked the hell out of me. I figured I'd mope around and see my dad and then mope around some more. This was not the case.
I woke up and sat out in the living room talking to Jes. Turns out her phone was shut off because Joey, who promised to pay the phone bill, had not done that. He also snuck out that morning without saying anything and took the car all day.

Jes and I headed to the bank, to get her the money for rent. And to her bank so she could deposit it. Then we went to Applebees to have lunch and laugh and joke. We had a blast. And I got to see my David who I hugged and told him I missed him. Glimmer of happiness for me! Well more than a glimmer I suppose.

Then my dad called and we headed back to the apartments since you know, he did drive an hour and then some to see his favorite daughter. My dad and I talked and he's willing to put forth a grand or more towards the wedding, which I insisted he didn't have to do. (You know, in that half hearted manner so it looks like you're being nice? yep.) but he wants too, and I want him too, and it's totally awesome.

We went to Walmart to get the chairs and table for the balcony. I also got a planter, some of that seed sprouting shit my mom used last year and seeds. I'm going to have a garden on my balcony! Horrah!

After we got back my dad left and Jes and I sat in the living room hanging out, talking, chilling maxin' all cool. I finally migrated into my room because I was tired and then proceeded to stay awake until 2 am. Good times.

I'm sure I had more to say, but I'm hungry and this diet coke sitting next to me isn't going to drink itself!